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hazeljane
Hazel Jane MacLaurin
United Kingdom, London

Words: 135
Access: Public
Comments: 8

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Lovesounds

Lovesounds.

 

Very soon, perhaps, pre-utterance, your sounds

Became air: so that

In every clichéd sense I breathed

Your name: exhalations

Dispersed a million photons of light

Moting and seeking corners

To bounce off: with all

My petty speech acts they came back to me.

When abundant they cluster

And null space: through their

weave of filaments this glittering web

loses transparency after a while.

Light in these conditions takes

A mucoid consistency: if space

Collapses, then time rears and

Throws down its laws of warp.

Soon after very soon this culture

Epithelials all sites of exchange:

Even those fulfilled by eyes.

It's hard to see through light -

And speech's solid glottals

Barely note the absence of sight.

But pressure ingested threatens

To blow my throat ' spitting's not allowed

So I vapourise the air and light inside.

Transmutes into familiar water '

A substance I can deal with.

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Comments  
Comment by: - 2008-06-10 14:29
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love this poem
Thunderpen Comment by: Thunderpen - 2008-05-15 01:39
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Reread this. Whew! It's so smart!
The polysyllables removed me from the
skin, blood, heartbeat, spit, although
my mind played like a porpoise in them.
Thunderpen Comment by: Thunderpen - 2007-12-18 02:10
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-I felt the expression "this glittering web
loses transparency after a while" was a sudden trip to the mundane from a loftier language. One could argue diction however.
-Nicely woven. Timing is righteous. Ending relocates the reader (that's me in this case) back on the ground.
colindardis Comment by: colindardis - 2006-09-06 11:35
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A very intelligent write, well constructed. It's obvious that you have taken your time with this piece to build a solid structure, I haven't read anytihng quite like it in a while, especially on this site.
barry edwards Comment by: barry edwards - 2006-06-07 16:25
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so different from my plain speaking style...nice to read something a bit wordy and cerebal for a change. cheers.
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