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That you
Mix a drink of wine and intuition
without that you
and my colors
will rearrange into anything
unlike that you.
Crevices of fingers brush out
left-behind cells
of that you.
Toes form blisters so as to
pick away that you.
Yet, somehow the water washes the oils
of that you
into the drink.
Wine is the culprit of overpouring
emotions.
While the intuition crawls in and out
of the unorganized, indecipherable
words.
Just keep mixing until all is
unlayered.
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It certainly is original, but i have a question. Is "That you" suppose to referring to you or the reader?
I like the language and the style. The idea i love especially is this idea of "Mixing wine and intuition" like a bit of passion and reason. Beautiful. |
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| I think this was well written. Original, I'll keep an eye out for more of your work. |
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| I like the "that you" repetition and was surprised when you shy away from it in the home stretch. It doesn't seem to fit, though that isn't your problem, it's mine! Overall I enjoyed the poem and the last line was beautiful. |
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| ...lush. |
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| You start this off brilliantly, with a catching way to keep the reader going! Well, done! |
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