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Free Will

He opened his eyes. Still stormed by confusion, his mind remained unfit for any form of thinking. He couldn't understand anything that surrounded him. Were they shapes? Words? Colours? Something tried to confront his body and his mind, but nothing seemed to fully reach them. There was no understanding, only feelings. Only feelings gathered in his deranged soul, tormenting him with the ever present confusion. How long was it like that? For few minutes? Hours? Days? Maybe years? Even the concept of time seemed to escape the grasp of his mind, mocking him and throwing his soul into an ethereal cage. Everything seemed like a single moment, yet a moment extended over an infinite axis of time.

Slowly the confusion began waning away. His feelings no longer filled him in a chaotic manner, no longer were they tormenting him. Something changed, although at that time he couldn't understand why or how. But it did change, he knew it. His feelings created an orderly form, a music to his soul. This music flew through him and filled every single membrane of his body. It was sinister, yet beautiful. So blissfully beautiful... Once again, he opened his eyes.

"Are you there?" An unknown voice finally reached his ears. He hesitated. This voice was disturbing, it didn't seem to be anything like the music that flew throughout his whole body. There was something frightening about it, something different. He closed his eyes, closed them with full force. But it was too late, he could no longer escape.

"Lad? Can you hear me?" the voice continued. He did hear it, although he wished that he wouldn't. This sound disturbed his inner music, changed it as if in an attempt to usurp it. He didn't want that to happen, he couldn't allow it. With much vigour, he shook his head.

Another sound reached his ears, confronting and twisting his still fragile soul. It was somewhat different, much brisker and seemingly pleasant. At once the music changed. Bright tunes began flowing through his mind, filling it with positive feelings. Curiousity appeared in his mind, but he couldn't let it take over his intentions. He had to fall back, persist by his music and let no other sound influence him.

The voice continued, but he no longer gave it any attention. New elements began reaching his soul, striking it with full force, yet quickly waning and bending under his will. They danced, danced with the music created within, soon becoming one with it. Newly created energy pulsed with every beat of his heart, cumulating and spinning inside his chest. On and on, it gained speed with each passing heartbeat, bursting forth into his blood-ridden veins and traveling all the way into his still numb limbs. He raised his right arm and peered at the palm of his hand. It radiated with bright energy, delivered through the illuminated veins. He moved it closer to his chest, not turning his eyesight away from the palm. He kept peering at it, peered as the energy turned brighter, nearly blinding his eyes. He clenched his hand into a fist.

At once, the energy burst upwards, storming into his mind and blazing through his skin. His lungs shrank as the radiation cleansed his body of all defiling air, and then once again expanded with the new wave of the radiant force. He could feel every single of his red blood cells flowing through the maze of his veins, transporting fragments of pure energy and slowly mutating, turning into energy themselves. A large dose of electricity released by his disarrayed brain stormed into his limbs, spasming all of his muscles and allowing the energy to take over the rest of his body. Along with all that happened to his existence, he felt indifference. He only observed the changes that happened within him. He wasn't fighting them off, nor was he trying to support them.

Soon his body no longer consisted of a system built upon organs, tissues and finally cells. He was one now, a single unit made of nothing, but pure energy. He took a look around. Asides his radiating body, there was nothing. Nothing, but an endless darkness expanding into infinity, consuming all the light that he may emit. He could feel this space attempting to devour him, pull him into the dismal void. At first he struggled, resisting the disruption of his body, but then he appeased. He extended his arms, as if allowing the surroundings to deprive him of the very soul. Filled with serenity, he awaited his fate.

His form was broken and his unity sprayed all across the vast space. He kept expanding, swaying the pitch blackness into the realm of light. His light. Yet, as his influence rose in distance, he had to face the fall of his might, of his intensity. The energy carried on its travel through the endless desolation, thinning and gradually bringing an end to the lightened domain. Soon, the black void once more established its superiority. But he knew he was still there. Not as a physical unity, but as a global conscience, which drifted through the infinite space, with no clear purpose or aim.

A glittering light pierced through the gloomy darkness. Tiny at first, it grew bigger with each passing second. Finally it stopped. It shapeshifted playfully, showing off with different hues of yellow, orange and red. He could feel a great warmth coming from it. And then he heard the voices.

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Comments  
alishanoelani Comment by: alishanoelani - 2007-11-08 19:27
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Did u actually go through this? No, I'm serious.
You write as if you know all about it.
If this is only a vision, it may well be what you would imagaine.
Keep expanding, you have a lot of room in there.
Goatboy1974 Comment by: Goatboy1974 - 2007-04-27 02:35
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I really dug this short story or flash fiction or whatever it may be labelled as. Everyone seems to think this is a near death experience but the way I read it was that he'd taken far too many psycho-active drugs. I seem to remember something similar happening to me in a field in Glastonbury festival . . . oh the joys of a long lost youth. But liked it because it was familar and because I don't go there any more.
mynamelez Comment by: mynamelez - 2006-07-31 03:19
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Good use of imagination. I can only summise your key character has died and is experincing something quite alien to what we all have come to know so well. I like this story. There is probably no need to add any more as it ends well. Keeps your readers guessing. I look forward to reading more of your work in the furture.
AusInk Comment by: AusInk - 2006-07-19 17:38
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Is the title also a play on words? Is the boy's name "Will"? etc, so this event is freeing him? Now that I think about it, it probably is, lol.
AusInk Comment by: AusInk - 2006-07-19 17:37
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I really liked your style of writing. A lot of people, when they write this kind of stuff, tend to come off as pretentious, but you didn't. I think that it's about a near-death experience, yes? Or dying in a hospital ward? I like how he sees feelings as music or colours, it's a very effective metaphor. Good Writing.
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