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psgri2003
Paul Grimsley
United States, Florida, New Port Richey

My Bookshop
Words: 118
Access: Public
Comments: 8

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sad case

if it's not implicit
you always miss it
irony is beyond your reach
and i'm too tired to teach
you let the thread drop
come to a dead stop
and stand there scratching your head
what was that i said?
as if with the ceiling and floor gone
you float in a vacuum, you moron
suffocating on a lack of understanding
yes, it's unfair that i'm so demanding
but i struggle hard to expand my mind
and i come to you and what do i find?
someone capable but lazy and unenthusiastic
i look at you and know that something drastic
has to happen or you'll keep getting worse
you must rehearse, or is it just a curse?

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My Bookshop

Comments  
TDaniels Comment by: TDaniels - 2006-06-10 08:18
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Enjoyed. Thanks.
Min Comment by: Min - 2006-06-08 13:05
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Last line was great, but I bet it was over the subject's head. I can imagine these thoughts going through your mind as you try to converse. What blissful lives such people lead.
timeakinga Comment by: timeakinga - 2006-06-08 07:54
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The rhyme, the rhythm is awesome! It flows so well, that the words seem to run before your eyes, and you have to catch up with them. :-) It's indeed annoying when you're the only one trying to convince someone to react. Great poem, Paul! I love it!
MaggieMay Comment by: MaggieMay - 2006-06-08 07:16
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Nice rhythm in this piece. It flowed nicely. I like how jerky it was. it sort of popped. Great imagination stuck in your head. Great read paul. thanks for writing this.
Comment by: - 2006-06-08 04:35
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This was a bit like a rap. I found myself reading aloud as if empowered by some grills. Nice rhythm, flow, and message. - Leah
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