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wellnessthruplay
Jodi Eyraud
United States, CA

Words: 71
Access: Public
Comments: 9

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massage my cries

My aching heart
needs to explode
can't decide which water
today

Massage, pulse, mist, spray

Water pounds on
my face
hitting me,
making it red
the shower walls
evidence of pain
splashes of me
drip, i scream

pressure of water
creeping through pipes
drowns the noise
my cries, loud

massage works
best, it stings
as it hits
i step from the
shower, red
and swollen

beaten by water
punishment fit

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Comments  
wellnessthruplay Comment by: wellnessthruplay - 2006-06-12 14:29
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Oh...that would work. Cool thank you
denisedee Comment by: denisedee - 2006-06-12 14:27
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how about 'making it red'
i think that would be clearer
wellnessthruplay Comment by: wellnessthruplay - 2006-06-10 20:07
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I meant red it makes the face and the evidence of pain is the water that splashes on the walls of my body and drips down. Should I put a period after red it makes?
denisedee Comment by: denisedee - 2006-06-10 19:20
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I think it's a lot smoother this way. Now this is a tiny thing, but i get how it's making your skin red, but how is it making the shower walls red or is that just poetic?
Comment by: - 2006-06-10 16:30
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I can envision the screaming and sobbing in the shower...the skin turning red ...and the desire to feel the pain...just let it have its way with you..get it over with. Very powerful! -Leah
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