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cold memory
Brisk breeze
shivers through
to my bones
Reminds me
of the day
I sat in the
hospital room.
It was cold
like a winter day
no breeze,
only A.C., that
continued to blow,
despite the illness
of the room that
required warmth
to comfort our
already broken
hearts
It was as if the
coldness blew,
needing to remind
us that nothing
about death
was warm
Nothing about the
stillness of lying
in a bed
pale, struggling to
breathe
only moments left
to live'
Nothing about
holding on to the
last moments of
life, struggling to
clutch to one
last
memory
is
warm.
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| Oh, I really like this one. Immediate, moving, and deep. Thank you Jodi for writing this. |
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Comment by: suleem - 2006-06-13 19:00
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Reads like a story that is unfinshed yet complete on its own. It makes me feel like a deep breath and then holding it in instead of releasing it.
Suzanne |
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| Beautiful, sad words Jodi. You expressed yourself very well, very vividly with your choice of words. Thanks for sharing. |
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I personally hate hospital and definately do not trust the people there. Your poetry is always littered with such striking images:
"It was cold
like a winter day
no breeze,
only A.C.,"
I wish I would have seen that before you. Job well done. |
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Comment by: - 2006-06-13 12:33
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| It's hard to read and comment on pieces like this because they are so personal and from the heart. I've never experienced anything like this as we always care for our people at home when they are near the end, so it is warm, full of memories, love and also despair. The piece did convey cold loss and heartbreak. Sorry I can't be more helpful on this one Jodi. |
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