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gabifaith
Megan Lahman
United States

Words: 458
Access: Public
Comments: 9

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Untitled

Prologue

Caleb screamed, only eight years old, running into the shaded forest and squealing with laughter. Alexandra's soft voice counting behind her was lost in the whisper of the trees. Caleb only ran a short distance in, knowing the limits of her five-year-old sister's patience. She panted the count out, keeping track of when Alexandra would be entering the forest to find her. As she looked back into a labyrinth of trees, she tripped, sprawling into a mound of vibrantly colored leaves. Only moments later, the younger child ran up behind her, pouncing into the leaves next to her older sister. They grappled there in the leaves, wrestling around until they both collapsed breathlessly, sending up a spray of leaves into the air. Between their puffs of breath, only silence resonated. Although too young to understand the unseen menace, the children felt the danger and ran out silently, wary of unbidden forces.

Once distanced from the daunting forest, Caleb and Alexandra stopped, looking back. Caleb reached for the auburn pendant that hung from her neck, always a source of comfort and warmth, a gift from her father on the day she was born. Her hand impulsively searched for the pendent, although found nothing. Caleb stopped, heart jumping. She had lost it; the precious gift, the source of her father's wisdom, and one day her own. She had lost the pendant, and although she did not know the true value of it, she new within the very being of her soul that she had lost a great piece of existence, and it would be lost to her forever.
__ __ __

Caleb sat in front of a thick oak table, tracing the inscription on it nervously. Her fingers outlined the capital 'V,' staggering at the cursive script, moving on to the rest of the name; her family name. Alexandra, across from her, also fidgeted anxiously, knowing the loss of her sister's pendant. Both waited for the moment one of their parents would notice the absence. Instead, they sat there, oblivious, eating their dinner as normal. They discussed the days events as Caleb sat there, heart racing, palms sweaty, knowing what she had to do. She stood.

'I lost it,' she whispered, her declaration inaudible.

'You what?' her mother asked, unaware of the gravity of the statement.

'I lost it.'

'Lost what?'

Caleb lost her courage for a moment, faltering with the confession. 'I lost the pendant.'

Jonah Vladan, head of the household, straightened in his chair, suddenly serious, almost scared. 'You what?' A strong emphasis landed on the 'what,' creating a hint of disbelief. Caleb's face drained of color, echoing her father's. Thoughts and fears sprinted through her head, but none managed to escape her lips.

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Comments  
Jarfuls Comment by: Jarfuls - 2008-05-04 11:37
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I think this would be a wonderful childrens story. I too am looking forward to seeing another installment soon.
esthermorey Comment by: esthermorey - 2007-11-02 10:23
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I like your story. Very nice. I want to read more.
Kendall20 Comment by: Kendall20 - 2007-04-22 15:36
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I was very caught up with the fact that the main characters name is Caleb and that she is a girl. I'm all for androgynous names (heck, I have one) but I have never heard of
a girl called Caleb. This wouldn't have bothered me so much, but I was very confused about who the "she" in the first paragraph was. I knew it wasn't Alexandra, as she wasn't in the forest yet...so I was lost.

Are they playing Hide and go seek in the first paragraph? Weird point, but I wasn't sure at first.

"Her hand impulsively searched for the pendent, although found nothing. Caleb stopped, heart jumping" I think it would make more sense and seem more sudden if you replaced although with and.

Overall, I like this story and would like to read more. I think you tell where you could easily show. Good work.
coreyhopps Comment by: coreyhopps - 2007-02-25 06:59
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I found myself waiting for the rest of the story. I love it.
heidrunknikander Comment by: heidrunknikander - 2006-08-25 05:52
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When will the story continue?
Heidrun
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