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shatter proof
politeness is shatter proof glass
stoicism is your splatter-guard
when the shit hits the fan you're covered
by the same dynamic i am smothered
stick your politeness up your arse
you expect me to come out of this unscarrred?
tell me, what have you been smoking?
because you have to be joking
i mean, for fuck's sake, you know where i am
and what it is that i've been through
your pretense at caring is a useless sham
i think you need a seeing to
but no, i know that threatens my future chances
you have to engage in these frustrating dances
of etiquette around the real meat of the subject
that i am just another wage slave you'll neglect
who cares? the cheque in the mail is duty discharged
the narrow flare of anger has been enlarged
and then some part of me starts to grow
and says what's the point of anger? go with the flow
what a fucking cop-out, what a loser, what a jinx
the manager has no trouble saying what he thinks
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| The diction! OMG! It portrays the feeling behind the writing very accurately! You can just feeeeeeel the anger and the boiling rage !!Strusture wise: it is just right for the theme, which is, by the way, something to be appreciated. You gave words to what we all feel at one time or another(I feel it more than that!!) |
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| i would love to hear this out loud ... i mean i read it out loud cause it seems to be screaming to be read out loud ... but ... you know what i'm saying, right? i especially like the lines about the frustrated dances of etiquette & the narrow flare of anger ... |
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Comment by: - 2006-06-15 21:21
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not saying what one is ACTUALLY thinking is a malady of deceptiveness.
but when one says what one is ACTUALLY thinking to those that are affected by this malady, commonly they repond through that malady and "politeness" gets chucked out the window, as it has not much foundation other than fear. stuff that, id rather be terminally honest and have no "friends" (if thats as good as those so called "friends" can do) than suffer the malady of polite deceptiveness...
incisive piece.
T |
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| This peom has so many great lines thaht if I wanted to pick them out one by one I would end up copy and pasting the whole thing! A great read! |
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there are alot of cool one-liners in this piece. especially that first line, its like a kick to the teeth.
I like the theme to this piece, its a really awesome dynamic. very unique and origional. thanks for the read. |
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