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In a field of dancing flowers, frolics
a little chocolate girl with black eyes
and hair to match.
Lafillete Lavender they call her.
She comes to this spot often when the
sharp edge sword called life cuts her
a little too deep.
A field of inspiration where she can come
to smile and secretly weep.
As she flows through the field making sure
her little fingers stroke each and every
little dancer, she knows she doesn't
admire them alone.
For He is always there with her.
Like the silent parent you think is never
there, but always knows each and every
strand of your hair.
When she gets lost in that great field,
Lafillete Lavender sometimes like to hide
and see if He will come out first
or maybe tell her where to go next.
He always seems to be one step ahead.
It's almost time for this little chocolate
lady to resign from the field once again.
She sticks a couple of His dancers in her
hair
Oh, but when she turns around, He put
two more right back there.
She smiles.
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This reads more like a story than a poem. You could have the little lavender girl as your MC and build around children adventure/fantasy stories. The poem was nicely told.
I liked the flow and ease of this piece - until the last strophe that begins with "It's time for this little..." This last section could be omitted, to my sensibility. The poem stands well without it.
