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Comment by: psgri2003 Online- 2006-06-18 14:47
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i really liked this, agree with everything everyone else said but 2 changes spring to mind as suggestions
take a breath
from [with]in my chest
a sigh to get rid
of heaviness that sits
complete exhalation
heaviness lifts
breath[e] in,
[it] starts all over again
but i love the overall tone and simplicity of this piece. great |
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Comment by: suleem - 2006-06-16 15:43
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Those moments that bring in answers are usually the heaviest.
I like the thoughts behind this. |
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Comment by: - 2006-06-16 12:25
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| Short and sweet this one Jodi. Well done. |
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| ahhhhhh, a lovely breath of fresh air, nothing like it! this is very cool, very breezy, very breathy, very nice Jodi. ;) |
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Very pithy and sweet Jodi,
Almost like a zen meditation. Love the simplicity in this one. |
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