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KevinShinners
KevinShinners
Ireland

Words: 59
Access: Public
Comments: 6

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Written

Oh pondering of ponderings,
Oh calamity of woes,
Forever in captivity,
This pocketful of prose.

Not knowing why it can emote,
Such passion, sorrow, pain,
Nor if this Judas pens his card,
For silver once again.

These letters, jumbled once they were,
Now fallen as they lay,
Exposed to be read with foolish pride,
Or jested, come what may.

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Comments  
ABRAH1 Comment by: ABRAH1 - 2008-12-18 06:10
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Great lines all over these piece of art
thank you for sheering
Parthena Comment by: Parthena - 2007-07-01 08:44
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I don't have anything to say about this one except - Wow. Again, you have a talent for putting meaning and impact into so few words. I envy you.
eemjay Comment by: eemjay - 2007-05-20 09:55
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I'll admit it. The only reason i clicked on your name was because you had a kick ass picture of a dog in a Yoda costume. I'm glad I did though as I really liked this piece. I agree with the praise of your alliteration and I sorta disagree with Tillyboa as I didn't find myself stumbling on the words. The final two lines say everything.
Tillyboa Comment by: Tillyboa - 2006-06-29 02:21
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I thought your rhyming and use of words worked really well here. Good alliteration in the first verse and assonance with 'once they were'. I felt the rythm went astray somewhat however - esp verse 3 line 3 - there's 10 syllables here when you've had 9 in line 1 and 7 in line 2. I feel that with a bit of a tidy up the reader would not stumble here. However, overall I thought it was a good read with a solid ending, great stuff! :-)
PANDORA Comment by: PANDORA - 2006-06-22 08:14
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A great view on writing, the last two lines wrap up the poem well. I think we have all looked at something we have written and thought, "did I write that?". I do not think you need to worry about being "jested", at least not with this poem. Well written, I enjoyed reading this. **
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By KevinShinners

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