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henrydavidlau
Henry David Lau
United Kingdom, Manchester

Words: 196
Access: Public
Comments: 3

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The Fear of Drowning

When your shoes are worn through
And broken,
And your dogs are beat.
Chemical compounds in the sun-baked tarmac,
Like hot, furry tongues
Will lick the soles of your feet.
When the leather of your boots
Are cracked and bleeding
The road will open up straight and narrow.

At the widest point in the open space,
The cloudless skies will swallow you whole
In it's foggy mind.
The air that surrounds you
Condenses into thoughts.
It expands when you breathe and swallow;
You suffocate on dark matter
As it fills your lungs.

Then Panic runs stark-naked, arms flailing
Through the flooding corridors
Of your mind
Searching for the emergency release valve,
Your eyes flicker with horror
As he punches every switch he can find.

The struggle for Freedom
Has become a joke,
With restraints and red tape,
Your eyeballs pop-out of their sockets to escape,
Like rats on a sinking ship.

Nose, throat and fear denied,
The struggle weakens
When the endorphins are supplied.
Liberty is held hostage, arms bent back
At an awkward angle and tied.
The light grows dim and the neon sign flashes:
'Mass exodus consciousness'
I fear we are drowning inside.

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Comments  
sylphessence Comment by: sylphessence - 2006-07-31 20:49
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Fabulous and powerful imagery. I especially like verse 3. I felt the overwhelming sense of anxiety and despair. I understand going through that moment when you have fought all you can and then fall into a delirious state of not caring anymore.
PANDORA Comment by: PANDORA - 2006-06-21 17:21
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"your dogs are beat."--great line, I have not heard that expression in a long time. My favorite because i can relate to it more then you know, "Panic runs stark-naked."--you have made this poem come alive with your choice of words. **
Tillyboa Comment by: Tillyboa - 2006-06-21 13:47
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This is a very powerful piece, I think the last three lines depict a bold imagery - very effective ending. I felt claustrophobia (v2 esp) and panic throughout this piece. the rhyming scheme is original although I had a bit of trouble with the rhythm, partly because I think the line lengths are uneven - I don't mean that they should be the same length, but I think all poetry needs to have a sense of its own balance. Apart from that, the imagery here makes the piece - the heat and intensity really comes across.
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By henrydavidlau

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