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tatuwalker1
Kathy Walker
United States, AR, Texarkana

My Bookshop
Words: 118
Access: Public
Comments: 5

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In The Park

In the park, Mommy and me
Playing under a big huge tree
We come to the park every day
Just so I have a safe place to play
I do not have a yard where my home is
So the park is where I must play with all the kids
My home is way up high
An apartment building that reaches the sky
An elevator takes me up and down
Just so I can go in and out
I like the park, don't make a mistake
But I'd sure be happier if we had our own place
A nice big home with a yard to boot
I'd have a great time at the pool in my new swimsuit

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My Bookshop

Comments  
Grounded Vertigo Comment by: Grounded Vertigo - 2007-03-14 09:42
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I like the innoncence of this piece, as others have said it has a very childlike sound to it. I also found the meter slightly difficult particularly between the two lines:

"So the park is where I must play with all the kids
My home is way up high"
InHizImage Comment by: InHizImage - 2006-08-25 17:50
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This was really cute I just had a hardtime with the meter. Some of the rhymes felt forced as well. No matter, it reads like what a child would say with simple words. Good write.
dreamer Comment by: dreamer - 2006-07-28 14:52
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Reads much like the way a child would speak.
tatuwalker1 Comment by: tatuwalker1 - 2006-06-28 13:53
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Thank you for your comment.
PANDORA Comment by: PANDORA - 2006-06-28 13:50
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This is cute and sad at the same time. Read well. Look forward to reading more. **
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By tatuwalker1

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