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If I had my way,
you'd be trippin' on me &
I'd be trippin' on those lips
on those rough fingertips
I'd let those well-muscled hands
get they lay of the land
resonate like the thunder
like the intrinsic wonder
of first and last kisses
& all those near misses
when words wouldn't come
& the evening was done
& I slept to the beat of your singing
lulled by the bliss you kept bringing
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very nice, very tight. you don't wander past these few basic powerful moments, or dwell on possible futures. Your use of "bliss" in the last line is perfect.
The love of the heartbeat, that's what i got from the last lines. I wrote something about a woman loving her husbands heartbeat whenever they were cuddling, so this makes me think of that old piece.
Great job, keep it up.
