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Comment by: lofty - 2006-07-26 01:35
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Cocoons of changing
Animals or
Images from
Childhood nightmares
great lines in a great poem |
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| Interesting. It works, tho a bit jumbled. But if you close your eyes and imagine, what would you see...you have painted a picture. Good job. |
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Comment by: - 2006-07-03 12:08
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| this makes me think of being a little kid and lying on my back in the grass staring up at the animals in the sky. great imagery. kind of sad. |
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"Zoo-like mess
Depravity in white"
-fantastic lines, very original. I'm not sure however about ""Before I stream salt tears / Wince in pain". It's painful to look at the sun directly, and it might make you crunch your eyes up, but it is beleivably to suggest it could make you cry? |
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Comment by: - 2006-06-29 15:13
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| I used to be a member of the Clown Appreciation Society but on the way there the doors fell of my car and someone squirted me in the face with a fake plastic flower. So needless to say, Frances, I never went back ... This is a slighter poem for you but I thought it was an observation we can all relate to. Clouds are like Rorschach blot tests (spelling?) - you see you want to see. I love it when you fly out or into an airport in daylight hours and suddenly you find yourself immersed in cloud and it feels like you are stuck in the middle of a candy floss machine. Favourite line was "Depravity in white" though there should be a hyphen in "zoo-like". Cheers. Paul :D |
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