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a short, modest Neigh
if i were
a horse i
would hang
by the reins:
a cherry-showered stallion.
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retry.
_the enjambment is cracking here; unobtrusive & poised in a way that complements the briefly horrific/darkly humorous tone, & disruptive enough to really splinter the words beautifully.
_you usually use capitals, so I was wondering about the lack of them here (even I capitalise 'I'). since this is a notably short poem, I think 'proper' use of capitals would wreck it (make it sink), but the complete lack of them also has an adverse effect for me, though nowhere near anything perilous. I just think that if the first-person pronoun were capitalised each time, it would lend the piece a subtle integrity. lack of capitals otherwise works great, it all gels very simply.
_the image itself here is, as mentioned, shocking but at the same time quite fun -- whether that's morbid or not. it's almost a dark satire of some oriental painting or scene. also, it reminds me of the fact that during the #th century in america, animals were burned &/or hanged in addition to people -- not least commonly, I imagine, for witchcraft. describing your work as witchcraft wouldn't be incomprehensible to me; transmutation, summoning, rank worship of the natural world.. sounds pretty heathen to me. haha. I mean that sincerely though; this piece does feel autobiographical, even if in a minimal sense.
_the symbolism of a dead horse being showered with cherries is nice & contradictory, a very original example of life&death coexisting ironically. this is assuming that 'hang' does in fact mean that the horse dies of strangulation, which sounds lovably like a vein of your work. in terms of symbolism, reins also represent outside control; servitude, on the stallion's part. so perhaps the speaker is saying that he would rather hang from the reins, have them _support_ him, than have them hang from him. an expression of freedom, in this interpretation, & a damn poignant one.
this is good work Alexman. |
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horse hanging from a cherry tree?
fun/shocking image, & mildly symbolic. notsomildly.
FUN! |
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