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Cursory
Cursory
United Kingdom

Words: 103
Access: Public
Comments: 9

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Miss You

Sometimes get that feeling,
I know you're gone,
But I'll see a passer-by
In the street
Just think its you,
I'll see their face,
It spoils the moment,
I'll crawl back to my own world.

My friends want to help,
Give me a boost to move on,
They say to have a chat anytime,
Like we used to,
But they don't understand,
Its not the same,
Won't ever be the same
Thats what I miss.

Only one person knew me
For who I am,
Me and my truth,
Me and my life,
Me and my world.
Only you did.

I Fucking Miss You.

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Comments  
Cursory Comment by: Cursory - 2006-09-14 23:42
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The point of my use of 'miss' alot is just the fact for me that its in the title. That is how I write poetry. I've said before I did query on whether to use the curse word, But its how I felt. Thats also how I write peotry. Thank you all for your comments. They were all very much appreciated.
rosysophia Comment by: rosysophia - 2006-09-14 17:18
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This is a good poem. I like it better than your other one. Nice work. The first few stanzas flow beautifully. I think that it starts to fall apart near the end, though. I can understand that. Sometimes I get caught up in the emotion and forget to bring my writing around for a strong finish. The use of 'fucking' is certainly full of strength, but I think it needs to be balanced by words that go better with the first few stanzas. Otherwise, all you're doing is using a curse word.

"Its not the same,
Won't ever be the same
Thats what I miss."

It seems like your repeatition of the word 'miss' could be fixed up. I think it would work better if you found a different word to use for these lines, so that you're not repeating yourself so much.

Other than that, good work. :-)
Lovernottolove17 Comment by: Lovernottolove17 - 2006-09-05 22:03
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I liked the way the poem flowed. There's quite a bit of emotion there and you really got it across. Good job =)
Baxter Comment by: Baxter - 2006-07-26 21:42
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Well written, personal therapy at it's best!
lofty Comment by: lofty - 2006-07-25 11:27
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great work again. have to say the ending was a killer fantastic.
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