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isismarie
Rachael Fields
United States, Missouri

Words: 123
Access: Public
Comments: 5

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The Real Thing

My past is made up of faded pain
Borrowed memories
Shattered time
At one time in my life
I would have bought love
No matter what the price
Just to get a taste of the real thing
On to be shot down again
From my perch in the ninth cloud
Life can change in a blink of an eye
A spark you can't quite figure out
Questions with no answers
Like how? and why?
Emotions begin to overflow in your heart
In an instant
You have no more control
One word, one look, one night
A connection you cannot explain
A love that sneaks up on you
A forbidden desire
Within your soul that you knew nothing of before
Something finally seems right.

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Comments  
Comment by: - 2006-10-04 13:58
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this one is very blunt and shattering. very emotional. very forward! i enjoyed!!!
inviscera Comment by: inviscera - 2006-07-04 19:34
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Love that last line.

"faded pain / Borrowed memories / Shattered time" - gorgeous lines.
jkaber Comment by: jkaber - 2006-07-04 18:01
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Nice shift in the middle of this poem.
a few suggestions:
Change "On to be shot down again" to
"Only to be shot down again" - is that what you meant anyway?

Also, I think it would read better if you put
"From my perch in the ninth cage"
instead of "From my perch in the ninth cloud"
gives it a bit more of a sting.
tinaleigh120 Comment by: tinaleigh120 - 2006-07-02 23:02
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This was great. It has a subtleness to it that is also very strong. It makes me hope the character gets exactly what they want! Great job.
PANDORA Comment by: PANDORA - 2006-07-02 11:55
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ike how? and why?=like

The more work i read of yours the more I like it. This poem starts with pain of past hurts and ends on a hope for a positive future full of love. Well written. **
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By isismarie

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