The wrong way, and the Harris way re-write

A short story by Samworrallnovel. When Harris and Frank's worst enemy, Bobby Lichenin gets a wireless, and Frank and Harris need to pay for one they broke when visiting a friend in the east, they make it there mission to steal this to pay for the one they broke! Enjoy!

'Look at him, waking around, what a show off', remarked Harris to Frank as they watched out of the window of there local pub'

'I know, he just wants to rub out faces in it that his new wireless is going to make him very popular, whilst we're still stuck here, just drinking beer all day.

'And we're wastin' out money here. We still owe Ryan for HIS wireless that we broke. God, could life get much better', said Frank, scowling in anger.

A huge smile spread across Harris's face.

'Ohhh Frank! He said

'What, what is it, your interrupting me from my scowling', replied Frank.

'I've just had, a brilliant idea, follow me'. He got up, and walked towards the door of the pub, hitting several people in the face as he did so with his bag that he was carrying. 'Yeah, what you going to do 'bout it', he glared at them ferociously.' Not my fault your head got in the way. And they both walked out.

'So what's this master plan of yours then'? Asked Frank.

'Well, it's quite simple really'. He stopped for a second to break a young boy's catapult, and then continued, 'All we have to do is rob Bobby's wireless, to give to Ryan. We get to wipe that smug smile off his face, and we get to pay back a good mate, we kill two birds with one stone. Simple. You see Frank; you just don't have the logic like me. There's the wrong way, and then there's the Harris way.

'Isn't that the wrong way'? Smirked Frank to Harris.

'Do you want to be involved in my master plan or not. Come on, I've got some stuff back at my house', and with that, Harris set off down the street.

Two big boxes, full of hammers, screwdrivers, chisels, you name it, it was in these boxes.

'What's this then? Asked Frank.

'This', replied Harris' Is my burglar kit. Ahh yes, my good old burglar kit. I've had some good times with this.

'Yeah whatever, anyway, so just these lot is it', asked Frank.

'No, just take the hammer and the screwdriver and the crowbar to begin with', said Harris. 'We're gonna have us a wireless for Ryan, ohh yeah', and he closed the front door.

As they walked along and ruined little kids fun, Harris and Frank talked about how they couldn't wait to see the look on old Bobby's face when he was that his wireless was gone. Plus, the could pay Ryan back. Smiles all round. They came to his front door, and then went round the back. They knew he was out with his wife as they had seen them down at the market just a few minutes earlier.

'Right, I'll smash the glass, and you check that no ones around' Said Harris.

Harris put a rock through the window of Bobby's house. Luckily, they lived quite a way outside the village, so no one lived next to them, so no one heard. Harris undid the lock on the inside. They both walked in.

Inside was big, with plenty of space for things. They looked around in the first room they went in to. No wireless here. Second room, no wireless, but in the third room, they found something which shocked even them. It was the biggest of the three, and was full to the brim of rare, exotic animals. Frank and Harris looked at each other in amazement.

'I've heard of these places. They deal in animals on the black market, only to be sold on again at another place like it', Explained Frank, with an air of wisdom about him.

'He he', chuckled Harris, wait there. He went into the kitchen and came back with a notebook and a pen. In it he wrote:

Dear Bobby,
When on a trip to see your beautiful face (as if), we stumbled upon your rare animals farm. As I'm sure you aware of, these such things are illegal in this country, so as payment, I will be taking your wireless, and I've smashed your window (Ha!). If you dare to tell the police about out little encounter, I promise to make yours and your wife's life a misery, and I will tell the police about your little secret.

Yours hatefully,
H.H and F.C

'There, I'd like to try and see him meddle with us now', said Harris. He slammed the book upon the table, picked up the wireless, which he ha now spotted in the room next door, and walked out casually.

'Now, how are we gonna get this back to Ryan, he lives miles away', said Harris.

'Harris', said Frank in a high tone.

'Yes, my dearest chum', he replied sarcastically.

'You know how you said just before we left the house that Bobby could get put away for a logn time for running an illegal animal farm'.
'Yes'?

'Would he get put away for longer than us if we took his motorbike'? He grinned cheekily, nodding at Bobby's brand new bike.

They rode along the road with the wind whistling in there hair. They sang a tune as they went:

We've robbed Bobby's motorbike
He's never gonna get it back.
He'll hunt and hunt, and search and search,
Ohhh, we've robbed his bike.

They laughed and continued to hum and sing merrily all the way to Ryan's house, about 15 miles away. As they approached the house, they thought they recognized a familiar face in the crowd.

'Bobby', the both said at once, and looked at each other in panic.
'What we gonna do, huh, what we gonna do'? Said Harris almost hysterically.

Calm down, he can't rat on us, otherwise he'll get put away with us. Besides, it won't make much of a difference to yours or my criminal record, they already as long as I thought you could get', replied Frank, and he chuckled.

'Your right, I'm calm and collected, I'm calm and collected', breathed Harris heavily.

They got slowly off the bike, and walked up towards Bobby. To there shock and horror, they saw that he was taking to Ryan! They carried on walking.

'Remember Harris, he can't rat us up, just keep saying that.

He did keep saying that, up until where he reached Bobby and Ryan.

'Oh, hello lads, aww nice one, you brought back me wireless, I'll let you borrow it sometime', said Ryan cheerfully.

'But, that's mine, and so's that bike over there', spluttered Bobby. 'You thieve, give it here', he continued.

They rolled around on the floor in a scrap, punching and kicking each other.

'Great plan you said', Angered Harris, looking really mad'.

'Just shut up and keep on running', screamed Frank, leave the bike just run'.

'Oh great, now I have to walk home'! He screamed madly.

The pair ran until they where out of site, and there legs turned to jelly.

'Great, now we've got to walk home, and Bobby will be really mad with us when he gets back'.

'Just remember the plan, he can't snitch on us, otherwise we'll snitch on him', replied Frank.

The two argued all the 15 miles it was back to the village, where the immediately downed 3 pints each.

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