 |
 |
 |
| |
Gift of the Magpie
You can have your hatred.
Even though it's of me,
it's not mine.
I don't own it.
And I will not carry
your bitterness in my throat
any longer.
Want to comment on this Poetry?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Poetry and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
|
 |
|
[Back to top]
|
|
|
|
solaris - i can see your point about the magpie and its tendency for liking sparkly things, i hadn't thought of that interpretation of the title
the play i was going on was with the classic story about the gift of the magi where the couple trades their most prized possessions to get a gift for the other - i don't remember exactly what they were - the woman trades her hair for something, a chain for the man's watch or something, and he trades his watch for a comb for her hair - which shows that sense of selflessness exemplified by love at its best, where my poem stems from the sense of acridness exemplified by love at it's worst ...
also, when i think of magpies, i don't think of the scavanging for bright objects, although that is true of magpies, mostly i think of their chattering, which has long been believed by various cultures to be an omen of evil and by some cultures the croaking of a single magpie was a signifier of death ... they are also known to destroy other birds' eggs and young and kill sickly, wounded, or newborn sheep and cows by pecking ...
i guess this, as well as the fact that it made a great play on gift of the magi, was why i chose this title ...
thanks again for the thoughts ... it's great to be able to have a dialogue about things like why we choose the titles we do and what certain symbols and images mean to us and also to know what others get from the things we write - i thank you for that - again! |
 |
Comment by: solaris - 2007-04-23 12:45
|
|
hey Marie :)
Gift of the Magpie
the title is strong, very strong. and because of this, expectations are created in the reader's mind before the body of the work's read. so - magpies: known for their love of the sparkling, shiny things; known as thieves; known as omens of fortune, good and bad. since the title is 'gift of the magpie', we can be forgiven for expecting - perhaps - the body to relate to either the return of something taken that it didn't own; or the gift of fortune - good or bad.
now, we come to the poem itself, and this is about the returning of something the narrator's not prepared to carry, a returning of some weight, some emotional burden. so all well and good, but there lingers some sense that this 'thing' ought to be some bright and shining bauble, some trinket, something precious even. and herein lies something of a conflict for me: what the 'magpie' is returning isn't some gem or precious thing - unless we can perceive hatred as some bright and shining bauble made precious to the one who should be carrying it. now i'm not saying hate can't be made some nugget buffed to a shine by many a fond mind-stroke, but i'm not convinced the piece conveys this message strongly enough for it to stick. to establish/maintain that, you might need to introduce some metallic sound/imagery. instead, you're giving us an almost liquid reference with 'bitterness in my throat', like a corrosive bile.
my problem is the poem works for me. it really does. and so does the title. but together, i find conflicts set in place that pull my attention away from what i ought to be concentrating on. i'd even suggest this wouldn't lose any strength (though it may lose the more defined meaning you convey) if you chose to drop line 2.
just thinking aloud :)
You can have your hatred.
Even though itā??s of me,
itā??s not mine.
I donā??t own it.
And I will not carry
your bitterness in my throat
any longer. |
 |
Comment by: jkaber - 2006-07-21 20:45
|
|
| short & bitter, this one. a lesson we all need to remember. |
 |
Comment by: AJSmith - 2006-07-13 07:49
|
|
| Nicely coveyed message without any irrelevant tangents. You got your message across well and simply. maybe you could use some part of the magpie to create an image to visualise |
 |
Comment by: Beck - 2006-07-10 08:53
|
|
| Yeah I agree, great last stanza. It is easy to be consumed by other people's negativity. Loved this. |
| 1 2 Next |
|
 |
|
 |
|
|
