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lisalatourette
Lisa LaTourette
United States

My Bookshop
Words: 155
Access: Public
Comments: 4

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car fire

sitting in my car
the heat turned up
to take away the razor edge
of the morning's cold rain,
waiting for my husband to
buy a pack of cigarettes
in a seedy convenience store,
little town near the ocean
lost & salt stinking high past
the broken roofs;

side street deserted
trees hang comatose, stark,
& a spot of color draws my eyes
to someone's old car,
a shot of brilliant orange
bursts like a flower raging open
through a side window,
red bells & gray skies exposed
over the screaming heart
of the flames;

it grows in seconds,
white smoke billows up
into black soot,
dirty breath taking over the sky,
but the trucks come quick,
get control of the fire
as though it's a rowdy child;
nothing left now but the black skeleton
just beyond the traffic light
& not even 10 minutes have passed;

morning breeze & moist dead air,
ribbons of smoke now mingle
with the clouds.

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My Bookshop

Comments  
Beck Comment by: Beck Online- 2006-08-07 16:02
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This is a beautifully descriptive poem. I love the ending.

"ribbons of smoke now mingle with the clouds"

It creates a peaceful atmosphere to an otherwise frantic scene.
howl1940 Comment by: howl1940 - 2005-12-20 03:55
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I would take it that this was something you experienced that you felt you had to write about, and that gives the poem a real passion. The first stanza is my favourite what with my predeliction for those simple little mundanities in life (that I think I've commented before, you do very well). I like the regular turned into something more beautiful through the use of language. Again, you have proved to be an inventive and simple poet - and I mean that you do not use cheap tricks and devices to impress, just honesty and real heart in your work.
AndyMel Comment by: AndyMel - 2005-12-13 17:21
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Unexpected events that jump out of boring scenes. I like what this poem is saying. We get a very clear picture of the setting, which so many amateur poems lack.
There could be more of a clear break between the laid back first stanza and the fire if you shuffled

"side street deserted...
to someone's old car,

up and then opened the second stanza with the "shot of brilliant orange".

Very gripping.
Matthew Eduard Abuelo Comment by: Matthew Eduard Abuelo - 2005-11-13 18:56
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You mix the tragedy with a laid back afternoon rather well.
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Beck (Online)
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By lisalatourette

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