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Tired of hanging around
I am an empty shell. If you crack me round the head, nothing but tepid, putrid air will come out.
There used to be a brain; a feeling that I would be someone - do something. I used to wait for that moment of clarity to arrive, so that I could understand that the road I was on was the wrong one/right one/just a road.
But for the longest time now, I have been coiled as tight as a spring, waiting for the end, whatever it may be, to arrive. Just for something else to talk about, think about, cry about. I long for that crack to come; a short sharp belt around the skull that jerks me back into life.
Instead I'm just hanging around. And I'm tired.
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Comment by: Teri - 2006-07-16 06:04
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Oh, boy, I could have written this (and I wish I had, it's sooo good!), and now I know what you mean about why we like each other's writing so much. :)
You depict this feeling so well - of waiting for the inevitable and so scared of when it will arrive, we sit as jumpy as nervous cats in a dog pound. And it gets soooo tiring. So exhausting.
Thank you for putting into words a feeling I've had and I'm sure others have had as well. And thank you for sharing your amazing talent. :) |
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| Intense stuff that really resonates. After my recent 4th redundancy since September this rings loud, true, and clear. |
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| Sounds like you were having a nothing day when you wrote this. I have one of those every so often. What helps me is to plan something exciting, even if I'm not going to do it. It at least gets me thinking along better lines. Puppies also help to remedy apathy. I hope you're doing better now. |
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