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Creaking Doors, Creaking Trees
Have no fear
There is no one up there
No one is there in the tree
The old man has taken his leave
And left me
Here to watch his home
The tree is a silhouette in the dim sliver moon's light
Late july and the night breeze whistles
There's no one there anymore
I once watched the children play
The children hang
The children swing
I was afraid once
But not now
I must have no fear
For my world has closed many times
And I have Always Found a door
When I feel the whole world has been discovered
I see a new light
A new country
A New culture
So I am sure When this world ends Another will open
I used to believe in ghosts
I Rode down the street
Down By the old tree
I thought they were hanging there
But there's no one there now
No one hanging Swinging Dangling Spooking
Just the eyes of the fairies watching
Spirits watching
Just the eyes of the spirits watching
Those and the eyes of the trees
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-Fear of Death.
-I honestly don't know if a tree has eyeS or if a tree IS just one Eye. A fir tree looks out 360 degrees squared.
-People wear dark glasses when it is through the eyes that most VitD is absorbed.
-A denial of paranoia, but not the paranormal.
-I do not find the unbroken stream of words/images bothersome, although there are several directional breaks, for instance between "...there's no one there anymore" and "I once watched the children play..."
-Interesting that the protagonist can change worlds.
-What say you mortals die and are reborn die rebirth die rekindle ...
-Hey, I really love the third line!
-This poem tends toward natural law: going, coming around. |
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| for some reason thr 1st thing that popped into my head was that this shoul ryhme. I like it, but for some reason I wish it ryhmed. |
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Comment by: zepol - 2007-04-29 10:09
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| This poem stands well as is and I appreciate that but I would like to have seen it broken up into stanzas. Of course, this may detract from the effect you are trying to convey. Good poem, thanks for sharing. |
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| The images in this poem are great.I would just split it into stanzas so it flows a little smoother, and "No one hanging, just swinging, dangling, spooking." Just a suggestion, ignore it if you want.I enjoyed this. Sasha |
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Comment by: VB 16 - 2006-10-16 06:58
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| Very real-could have been there myself |
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"Side Orders"
To complement 'Meagre Portions' I have created an E-book that provides a selection of tasty morsels for your delectation.
This is a free download and no service charge will be added.
Please enjoy your meal.
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