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Baxter
Baxter Thornberry
United States, CA, Stockton

Words: 114
Access: Public
Comments: 2

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the old life - the new wife

Old cars, my 64 in fact, white, green leather interior with the personalized plate in the back.

The old wife is the one who let me run wild, did not hide the child inside and wasnt afraid of living, for today not tommorow..


The new wife she tries so hard to act mature and plans for the future. She is supposed to be the future not engrossed in planning it.

Dinners with friends, vacations on the cape, mortgage payments.

Somehow between then and now I have grown up, the friends I had the life I led, has all be erased.

The old car, the old wife have been replaced, what is left I dont recognize.

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Comments  
Comment by: - 2006-07-29 09:56
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The ending leaves you up in the air, which isn't bad. New beginnings can be scary, as well as exhilarating. I'd keep "what is left I don't recognize" and have it follow "...has all been erased." and end it there.
AJSmith Comment by: AJSmith - 2006-07-12 02:58
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Hi.

Favourite line would be the new wife being the future not being engrossed in it - that says a lot.

You teeter at the edge of telling us too much, which i usually dont like, but in this case i think you reign yourself in well. My only quibble would be the final line, maybe you could say earlier that you dont recognise the new things, because the old life being erased on line 7/8 would be a good place to end it.

In all, i think an element of regret comes through which i like, the emotions being simple but well portrayed.
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