A tear dangled on the edge of his eyelashes, long and naturally curling up he didn't need makeup for his eyes to stand out. The chill against his cheek as he wiped away the tear brought him back to the present.
'What a mess.'� The words taunted him as they echoed in the morning air. He remembered the conversation over the phone, couldn't remember answering it or where he had been but the voices and the words used jarred in his mind. 'You are going crazy; there was only one person on the other end with bad news.'� Paul muttered to himself trying to focus on the one good thing to come out of this.
'Two'� two good things.'� The words escaped him before he could process the implication of those words.
'He was a bastard, people will be better off without him'� said Paul in an effort to convince himself that the death of a human being was a good thing in this case, yet he could not convince himself fully. There was a faint reminder of the relationship that Paul couldn't shake off, it clinged to him like a fine dust, threatening to choke him.
'So I cared for him, she did as well. It doesn't change anything, it means nothing.'� The last word got distorted as it was returned back to him. Paul allowed himself a brief moment to entertain the thought of what people must think if they heard him talking to himself.
A lone car's brakes broke the silence causing Paul to look up hopefully only to see the car turning into the opposite driveway. His mind drifted onto the other good thing to come from this. He was going to see her again, after half a year she was coming back home. Paul never understood why she wanted to do missionary work for a whole year in a foreign country nonetheless.
She has such beautiful eyes'� he thought to himself, 'with perfect skin and the most infectious smile'�. His dimple came to life on his left cheek at the thought of Hannah's smile.
The sound of the front door closing and the beeping of the house alarm counting down killed the silence that had lived since the neighbour's car had died, Paul's family got into the white car dressed all in black. He carried on ignoring them as he had done since the phone call, the phone call that had brought so many tears, so many fights into the family. The automatic gate clanged to a stop as the white car drove off to the funeral. Paul remained behind.
'Why should I go to your funeral? You treated people badly. I shall never forgive you for what you did to Hannah. You treated her like shit, you fucking asshole! Then you go get yourself killed in a stupid hijacking so you can't even make it up or be there for her! The tears carved pathways down his face as he screamed in anguish to a person who was no longer there.
'You and your goddamn pride, you should of given them the car, it was only a car, it was even insured you idiot.'� muttered Paul between racking sobs. He was on his knees now and started pummeling the pavement with his fists, not knowing why he was doing it, just desperately seeking an escape from the conflict of emotions, the raw emotions of love and hate. In-between hits he heard the words being spoken at the funeral.
''�youth at the prime of his life'�'�
The first bloodstains started appearing on the pavement.
''�caring and considerate'�'�
The marks got larger and more frequent, angrier and more desperate with each strike.
''�my best friend and my love'�'�
The self mutilation stopped as Hannah's voice filled his mind.
''� sitting together on the couch watching'� '�sneaking kisses in the school corridor'�'� Paul closed his eyes and let the words wash over him, smiling as he remembered the moments with Hannah. His lips parted as he imagined her from closed eyes, he whispered into the air.
'I am sorry Hannah.'�
''�there will always be a place in my heart for you'�'�
The blood clotted together on his hands, stopping the constant drip that had formed.
''�I love you Paul.'�
The casket was lowered into the grave and the bloodstains slowly faded away as did Paul but the words lingered a while in the air
'I love you Hannah.'�

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