writing community
Sign In Here | Lost Password | FREE Sign Up
E-mail: Password:
Remember login  
The place for writers:
Upload your writing in minutes, receive peer feedback from other writers, poets, authors, then get your work published out there in the real world.       Learn how other writers are doing it.

 
huma
Huma Sattar
Pakistan, Karachi

Words: 138
Access: Public
Comments: 3

Forward to a friend
Print Version
E-mail this writer E-mail this user 
View Author profile
Add to Readers  




my Failures

Punctuated with failures,
my life fails me'¦

failures in all shapes and sizes
failures in all sides and dimensions


failures when I knew I worked hard
failures when I knew I didn't
failures when I blamed God for them
failures when i thought I shouldn't
failures when I thought it was mighty luck
failures when I would just give up

Punctuated with failures,
my life fails me'¦


..and today as I failed,
drinking in my tears
I look in the face of my failure
savoring the moment,
not relinquishing,
holding tight
embracing it emphatically
..face to face, eye to eye
for the first time !

and as I prostrate in front of the Almighty
I feel solitude, I feel peace
And I realize'¦
'¦'¦'¦'¦'¦"it did not!"

Punctuated with failures
I failed life!!
...it did not'

Want to comment on this Poetry?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Poetry and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
Sign up






[Back to top]
Comments  
Grounded Vertigo Comment by: Grounded Vertigo - 2007-03-20 09:07
Add to Readers
      
I enjoyed this poem. It has a good rhythm and pace to it. I'd agree with Pandora that you could remove the "ands" of the 3rd stanza to help the rhythm of the piece. A good write.
rabableo Comment by: rabableo Online- 2006-07-25 14:48
Add to Readers
      
I like your diction(language) and the way you use periods......:) nice! I agree about the "and" that could help your thoughts move smoothly. Also,if you changed " when i would just give up" to " when i just GAVE UP" maybe it will feel better. Just my opinion, though!:)
Oh, yes! the most important thing: the theme is marvellous. I like the last three lines and how you use repetition.
PANDORA Comment by: PANDORA - 2006-07-25 04:42
Add to Readers
      
I think this would be a stonger poem if you took out the "and's" in the 3rd stanza. I read it without the and and it read more smooth. Like the theme and emotions displayed.**
1

Sponsored Ads


By huma

Featured Writers

Advertising - Terms & Conditions - Short Story Submissions - Contact - Writing Competitions - Writing Links - Book Promotion - Sky-Tribe.com - alanemmins.com
  Member short stories, poems, comments and other contributions are owned by the poster.
Copyright 2003 - 2007 Edit Red I/S