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interaction, storm and pine
For three months, there was shade
then lightning struck the pine
with the double trunk, by our bedroom window.
It existed, exposing the scars that time
imposed upon it's body. Jagged lines
from thinnest tip to root.
The tree was felled yesteday
by men with chainsaws and heavy boots
and the sparkleberry also fell
victim to logistics in the felling of the pine
and the shade was sucked screaming
into the steamy ground.
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| This reminds me of an experience I had- a beautiful sycamore tree had to be removed from my yard. The process to remove it was so brutal- you do a great job tying in to the emotions that can accompany such seemingly mundane events. |
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| This poem reminded me of one of the big oak trees in Little River, SC that was felled by lightning. The steamy ground of the summer storms are still familiar in my mind. i am reminded of them when monsoon season comes here in August in the Arizona heat. |
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| This is really deep writing, felt every word and appreciated the flow of it :-) |
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Comment by: Yvonne - 2007-03-03 15:36
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Oh man. I'll probably say what has already been said, but the feel of your poem in the first huge hunk is sad, but nothing huge. Then the last two lines woke me up like I snorted caffeine.
In the fourth line is a bit of an emotional disconnect, I'm not sure why. Perhaps because it's going from narrative voice to something else?
Good job. |
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| The last two lines sent me shivering to the comment box...such a gorgeous image, so tragic, yet so...ALIVE. |
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