writing community
Sign In Here | Lost Password | FREE Sign Up
E-mail: Password:
Remember login  
The place for writers:
Upload your writing in minutes, receive peer feedback from other writers, poets, authors, then get your work published out there in the real world.       Learn how other writers are doing it.

 
oddfruit
neil hinchcliffe
United Kingdom, lancs, bolton

Words: 168
Access: Public
Comments: 11

Forward to a friend
Print Version
E-mail this writer E-mail this user 
View Author profile
Add to Readers  




IUGUOLO

She watched him as he slowly undressed. He worked out, not too much, just enough. There were the signs of a six-pack on his stomach and his pecs were perfect. He was smooth as well, just the way she liked men. She didn't like hairy men; it just got in the way when she was kissing their chests. His arms were perfectly toned, and every time he bent one she could see his bicep bulging gently. He slid his trousers down and she let out a gasp. She could see the size of him under his boxer shorts, and let her mind wander as to what it would be like to have him inside her. This thought only flickered briefly and then was gone. Yes he was a fine specimen of what a man should look like.

She slowly looked him up and down. It was a shame she could never have him. The crosshairs found the spot right between his eyebrows, and she pulled the trigger.

Want to comment on this Short Stories?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Short Stories and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
Sign up






[Back to top]
Comments  
hazeljane Comment by: hazeljane - 2006-09-06 07:24
Add to Readers
      
definitely a great exercise. I like your economy of expression, the way you stick in all those bonkbuster cliches and just turn it around at the end - oooooh, if I wanted to be really Freudian and feminist I'd say its great how the woman actually flips from the passive role to the active role, how her gaze is the most important in the piece, and how, in fact, she is the one that penetrates the man. The more I think about this one, the more I like it.
Finlay Comment by: Finlay - 2006-08-11 12:55
Add to Readers
      
this is a really clever piece. an unexpected twist at the end as well. captures the more eveil side of the female psyche very well as well ;)
jamie
Finlay Comment by: Finlay - 2006-08-11 12:55
Add to Readers
      
this is a really clever piece. an unexpected twist at the end as well. captures the more eveil side of the female psyche very well as well ;)
jamie
bonnieclarke Comment by: bonnieclarke - 2006-08-08 13:55
Add to Readers
      
hehehe....very cool, very sassy, very....deadly little piece. Gotta love those women that take charge and get the job done. ;-)
Teri Comment by: Teri - 2006-08-08 07:14
Add to Readers
      
Very hot and sensual ... until she blows his brains out! I actually laughed! Well, I snorted. :)

Nice write, Neil, great little snippet and a very enjoyable (?) and humorous ending! Thank you for this! *cleans rifle*
1 2 3 Next

Sponsored Ads


By oddfruit

Featured Writers

Advertising - Terms & Conditions - Short Story Submissions - Contact - Writing Competitions - Writing Links - Book Promotion - Sky-Tribe.com - alanemmins.com
  Member short stories, poems, comments and other contributions are owned by the poster.
Copyright 2003 - 2007 Edit Red I/S