'Adam, darling ' do you think I'm getting fat?' Eve asked one morning as they dressed
'No ' not at all' Adam replied 'You are still as beautiful as ever'
It surprised Adam that lying had become so easy. 'It's like swimming,' he decided 'once you can do it, it comes naturally.'
'Thank you, darling' Eve smiled struggling to get into with her things.
'I'll get breakfast' Adam chirped
'Not for me' Eve said quietly
Adam was bewildered. Eve had definitely gone pear shape and that damned Serpent didn't make things any better, weaving about laughing to himself as though he knew something they didn't.
Later, as they sat beneath the apple tree, Adam said.
'Shall we stroll down to the ocean this morning?'
'I don't think I could make it' She sighed.
Adam looked disappointed.
'Never mind' he said kindly 'It's just that I thought we might catch a few fish and barbecue them on the beach, for lunch'
'Oh Adam! don't ' or I'll be sick again.'
That was another thing that bothered Adam.
'It can't be healthy - being sick every morning - we'd better ask the Serpent what to do' he said
Eve pulled a face 'I'd rather not-if you don't mind' she said.
The Serpent was lying on the branch directly above them.
'Did someone mention my name?' he asked, swinging his head down towards them.
'Well, we were just wondering about Eve, that's all'
'Adam!' Eve said crossly
'Oh! That' the serpent grinned 'She's what is known in the trade as - In the club.'
'In the what?' Adam gasped
'Well, when you do all that rolling about together and do those things, that's what causes it' the Serpent said
'I knew he was watching us, the pervert!' Eve snapped
Adam thought for a moment
'What will cure it?' he asked
'Don't worry' the Serpent replied 'It'll cure itself, given time, you'll see'
'We shouldn't have eaten those apples he gave us' Eve muttered.
The Serpent decided that it was best to change the subject
'Why have you started dressing yourselves in all those silly fig leaves and things' he asked.
'Because you are always hanging about' Eve said 'Don't think I haven't seen you, in those bushes next to the waterfall, trying to cop a look at me taking a shower'
'Come on!' Adam said 'Don't let's fight ' God'll be here next week, on his inspection. We don't want him to think we're a load of hooligans, do we now?'
The Serpent looked uneasy
In those days God rode about on little white cloud. It gave him an excellent view of the earth and also scared the crap out of anybody who was up to no good.
Adam and Eve stood, with their arms round each other, waving as God went past.
'Bless you my children' he smiled upon them ' then suddenly let out a horrible choking sound and pulled up dead, causing a nasty pile up of all the fluffy white clouds following behind.
'Just Look at her stomach - you've been tasting the forbidden fruit' he yelled
'No it's not that, actually, it's caused by us rolling about and stuff' Adam said, trying to appear knowledgeable about such things
'Well, you can go and roll about somewhere else' God thundered 'Clear off out of my garden and don't come back ' and take that Serpent thing with you'
The place where they ended up was terrible. There was nothing growing except apples. Eve did her best but Adam was always moaning.
'Not apples again' he said
'Well you'll just have to get off your butt and plant something else, won't you 'Eve said 'And I keep getting these dreadful pains down below'
'You should complain' the Serpent moaned 'My legs have dropped off and I have to crawl about on my belly'
'Shut up you snivelling little snake' Eve said 'It's all your fault anyway'
The Serpent looked hurt
'It's not pleasant, crawling about on your belly with all this muck about' he said mournfully
.The weeks went by. Eve gave birth and Adam toiled from dawn till dusk and on the rare occasions when he was not too knackered to suggest a bit of 'rolling about' Eve would, almost always, complain of a headache. She too had learned to swim.

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