writing community
Sign In Here | Lost Password | FREE Sign Up
E-mail: Password:
Remember login  
The place for writers:
Upload your writing in minutes, receive peer feedback from other writers, poets, authors, then get your work published out there in the real world.       Learn how other writers are doing it.

 
PenToPaperNYC
Anthony Ambrosini
United States, New York, Brooklyn

Words: 129
Access: Public
Comments: 6

Forward to a friend
Print Version
E-mail this writer E-mail this user 
View Author profile
Add to Readers  




ON SECOND THOUGHT

I gave the ring in promise,
Thought you were true to me.

With hopes of adoration,
For all the world to see.

The days we spent together,
The months where our love grew.

Were all in hopes of future,
which never would come true.

So now I feel the Solace,
I grimace with the pain.

For better has it ended,
I'll wander through the rain.

Not meant for it to happen,
Life grants another chance.

Alone I forge without you,
My life I will enhance.

But now I'm not as trusting,
I look between the lines.

I search for something truthful,
Although my heart still pines.

If HE should let me find it,
a thousand thanks I'll give.

If meant to live without it,
Alone I'll choose to live.

Want to comment on this Poetry?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Poetry and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
Sign up






[Back to top]
Comments  
Metalcove Comment by: Metalcove - 2007-11-24 13:51
Add to Readers
      
A beautiful bittersweet poem, really. And well, it's our mistakes that make us growing up.
Amanda Comment by: Amanda - 2007-02-11 13:44
Add to Readers
      
Oh I know how this is,but I found out all too late,I got married to the guy...oh well, such is life...but you cut to the quick Sir,very good.
psgri2003 Comment by: psgri2003 - 2006-08-20 18:12
Add to Readers
      
man, how this strikes a nerve and how you wish it didn't. great rhythmn and structure that pulls you through the narrative easily without the rhymes ever tripping you up.
roy Comment by: roy - 2006-08-16 08:38
Add to Readers
      
aaa.this poem brings back to me my mind frame when i was in conflict with myself on whether to get divorced or not, I was going through my mind, the ring I gave and the promise i gave with the ring. to break a promise is a sad and terible reality...thanks for the read
Teri Comment by: Teri - 2006-08-15 10:29
Add to Readers
      
Hi - Heartbreaking sentiment throughout, and although I normally don't like rhyming poetry, none of these seem forced - a hard thing to do. My only suggestion would be to reword this line as it was a little awkward:

Not meant for it to happen,

I'd reword it to be something like:

It wasn't meant to happen

OR

Never meant for it to happen

depending on how you mean this line, of course. JMO. Nice work, and thanks for sharing this. T. :)
1 2 Next

Sponsored Ads


By PenToPaperNYC

Featured Writers

Advertising - Terms & Conditions - Short Story Submissions - Contact - Writing Competitions - Writing Links - Book Promotion - Sky-Tribe.com - alanemmins.com
  Member short stories, poems, comments and other contributions are owned by the poster.
Copyright 2003 - 2007 Edit Red I/S