This is my response to a comment that someone posted, jokingly suggesting that the reason I thought God was a woman, was the ability to create life.

The ability to create life is impressive, but the real reason I know God is a woman is because she can never make her bloody mind up.
Think about it; you create a race of dinosaurs, get bored and start again. Create all the Earths creatures which will live in harmony with the planet, then stop and think "I know I'll make one that looks like me, I'm pretty." Then along comes Gods little brother and says "I want one, I want one!"
Now you have a species with two subcategories that seem to find the sight of each other enjoyable, and decide to get it on. The sight of something that looks like you getting it on with your brother makes you turn too the animals for distraction.
What do you see? Two badgers watching the show.
'What are they doing?'� 'I don't know. Looks like fun though.'� 'Do you have one of those sticky out things?'� 'Nah. Do you?'� 'No! This hardly seems fair.'� 'Do you even want to do that with me?'� 'Come to think of it, you're not really doing anything for me.'� 'Not just me then, thank God for that.'�
So you spend the next, you knows how long, splitting all the other species in two, and turn back to see if the floor show has finished. WHAT THE F***!! Not only have they finished, but now they're talking to a snake. What was I thinking making a bloody talking snake? None of the other snakes can talk. Me, I must have been tired.
Now the lovers are going for the apple! The forbidden one, the one I painfully expressed they not touch at any cost ever, and they're arguing over it!
'You have it.'� 'No you have it.'� 'But you saw it first.'� 'But you like them more'� 'It's ok, you have it. I'm serious.'� 'So am I, don't worry, you have it.'� 'Are you sure?'� 'I'm sure. It's ok.'� 'It's not ok, is it? You want it.'� 'No, honest I don't, you take it.'�
The rest you don't hear with your head buried in the toilet.
Then a knock at the door lets you know the Gods from next door have arrived for dinner.
You look at your creation and the mess it's turning into, realizing you can't show this to the neighbours. What can you do? You've invested so much energy in this project, you can't just scrap it. But you can't let people think you're responsible for it as well, how embarrassing would that be. Suddenly a genius idea hits, give them free will then it's not my fault if they screw it up.
Now the animals are happy because they've got sex.
The snakes can no longer cause problems.
Your little brother has his own room in the basement.
I know everything he does, but it's his room, and I have to respect his privacy.
And the humans'�'�.


'�'�.they still stand there, having the same argument, the only difference this time; now they're not being sincere.

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