it was this apartment
in Gulf Stream Isles
in Fort Myers, Florida
and it was my first apartment
and Ed was my roommate
and I quietly looked up to Ed
though I never would have admitted it to Ed
at the time
(Ed's dead now
so I'm easy
to admit).

and Ed
kept a loaded shotgun
in our living room.
I didn't mind
much.

so one day
so so so and
my friend Jon
from the work
came over for a stop-by
along with his friend
Tony.

and, "what's this?"
Tony picked up the shotgun
and pointed it
at the window.
birds outside thought about winter
but they were already there
and Ed and I had been in winter
since our stories began.
"this fucking thing is
LOADED!" Tony said.
he proceeded
to unload the tool.

shortly after,
not wanting to watch
James And The Giant Peach with me,
Jon and Tony left.

Ed came out
or in,
which I can't remember.
he picked up the thing.
"who the fuck unloaded my gun?"
he wanted to know.

it was no use
to try and explain things,
it never was.
Ed had had the gun loaded.
I had known it was loaded
and I didn't care.
Ed and I
both wanted to die.
he reloaded the shotgun
and together
we waited.

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