Down in the cellar, the brickwork was coved in green slime, obviously running with damp.
'Are you sure you want to do this, Moz?' I asked
'Do you think I'd get you down here in the middle of the night, just to prat about? Just hold the torch steady.'
I nearly told him that he had done worse but I don't know what it is about Moz; somehow you can't be mad at him, he's got this sort of naughty little boy look about him, even though he's almost twenty five.
'And there's this Jack hammer I've had to hire, do you think I'd pay out like that if I wasn't serious?' he picked it up and held it against the wall.
'OK Moz, it's just that'¦'
'And do you think it was an easy getting the key, while Tracy was asleep?'
'No I don't suppose it was. There's some valuable stock in the chip shop.'
'No, I'll tell you, she guards that key better than she does her what's it.'
'I'm sure she does.' I knew from past experience that it was no use arguing with him in this frame of mind, in any case I didn't fancy entering into any discussion about Tracy, especially not her what's it.' .
'Here goes.' The power hammer opened up with a racket that threatened to deafen everything within two hundred miles. I couldn't be sure whether it was nerves or the floor vibrating, but something was making the torch shake like hell. Then, suddenly, it stopped.
'There you are - a piece of cake.' Moz stood back to admire the jagged hole in the wall.
He took the torch and shone it into the hole.
'Are we in The Computer Shop?' I asked. He smiled
'Have patience, my son. Aladdin's cave wasn't built in a day.'
It seemed that the wretched power hammer took exception to the mixed up metaphor and started up again. Clouds of choking dust filled the cellar and bits of brick pinged of f in all directions. Quite why the entire population of Great Britain and Northern Ireland had not, so far, turned up to find out what was disturbing their slumbers, was beyond me
Thankfully, it stopped, at last. Moz peered through the hole.
'Bonanza!' he yelled 'the promised land awaits us'
There was a kind of disinfectanty smell on the other side and the torch light bounced off tiled walls.
'No Sweat,' Moz said
'I thought you said the computer shop.'
A few more explosions from the hammer.
'Let's go.' He said. I scrambled after him through the hole.
'We're in the bogs.' Moz said flashing the light around
'Yes, Moz, I can see that but, I don't think the computer shop has got toilets in the cellar.'
'We live and learn.' He replied
'Indeed we do, but have you noticed; we're in the ladies and somebody is coming down the stairs.'
Moz was in the nearest cubicle before you could say a long word and me next door soon after.
'Get your feet up,' I hissed. 'it must be the cleaners.'
'I told you,' Somebody said out there. 'where's the light switch?'
'My God! Look at the mess, Harry.'
'It's them footballers, again.'
'This is the ladies, Harry.'
'That's what I say: they should never allow women to play football, it's asking for trouble.'
'Hey! Look there, Harry. They've knocked a hole in the wall.'
'Blooming hooligans. What they done that for? Let's have a look. Blimey! It's the chip shop's cellar.'
I could hear Moz shuffling about, next door.
'Moz, keep still until they've gone or they'll nab us.' I whispered
'They aren't here,' he whispered back 'they must have gone through our hole.'
'Let's leg it.' I said. We flew up the concrete steps and out into the bus station booking hall, which was locked up for the night.
'What do you suggest , Moz?' I said trying the door 'apart from smashing the wall down with that infernal hammer thing.'
'There's nothing in these drawers,' he said 'not even a bus pass.'
'We are locked in, Moz.'
'I've left the jack hammer down there.' He said thoughtfully
'They'll trace you from the hire shop.'
'No, I thought of that, I used Tracy's credit card, I'm not daft you know.'
'Perhaps you ought to get a second opinion on that, Moz.'
'What is this in here, then?' he grinned, waving a key 'let's go.'
It was a miserable cold damp dawn out there on the street .
'Come round to our place, Tracy will still be asleep.' Moz said
But Tracy was up and on the phone.
'Some bastard has broken into the shop and nicked six boxes of cod and half a ton of spuds.' She muttered.

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