I remember it perfectly. Cassandra, the beautiful prophetess, has just left my bed chamber.
"Be of good cheer today, oh king, for my divinations portend much good for Troy in the near future!"
No sooner than she departed in a ripple of silk, a messenger was at my door.
"Prithee, King Priam, come to the walls at once. The Greeks are gone!"
Was the man mad? I scrambled onto the parapet that overlooked the plain that had been infested with Greek tents for over ten years, and I could hardly believe my eyes. Nothing but bare grasslands stretched to the sea. The plains lay empty with the exception of a huge, black idol looming in the lifting darkness.
With a party of scouts I went at once to assess the situation. You can no doubt imagine my amazement when we reached the thing and found it to be none other than a gigantic, black horse fashioned from shittim
"What do you make of this?" I said to my son Hector.
"Some sort of plot, Father." Hector thumped the mighty, hollow leg of the horse with his sword.
We had hardly had time to confer regarding the nature of the beast when my scouts dragged a bewildered fellow from out of the swamp that had once ringed the Greek encampment.
"Who is this fellow?" I said as my lieutenant hauled the prisoner before me.
"Claims his name is Sinon and that he is a Greek. We found him skulking amidst the trees."
Old Laocoon, my trusted soothsayer, plucked at my sleeve.
"I would not trust him, my king; for I believe him to be an engine of the enemy," Laocoon whispered in my ear.
"Well, we will hear what he has to say?" I said.
The trembling fellow standing before us had a huge gut and a dark beard that ringed his face from ear to ear.
"So, Sinon," I said, "what is your story?"
The captive prostrated himself before me.
"Up! Enough of that nonsense!" I said.
Sinon rose and merely bowed this time. "Good King Priam, as you can see the Greeks have departed. They have given up. They think Pallas Athena despises them for theft of the Palladium. "
A cheer went up at once from the credulous fools in my army.
"Yes?" I said, raising my arms to still the devils, and eyeing this Sinon warily.
He continued. "And this horse you see before you is a trick. It is an offering to the goddess Pallas Athena. The Greeks hope that you will think it is a trick and will destroy it here on the plains."
"But why have they made it so huge?"
"So you will not be able to drag it within your walls and, thereby, gain Athena's favor."
I stared at the shaking liar, wondering what sort of lies would next emerge from his mouth. Then trembling internally myself, knowing the fate of my kinsmen, hinged on this man's words, I said, "And what were you doing in the swamp?"
Sinon breathed rapidly in memory of his narrow escape. "I was to be murdered, o king. They planned to sacrifice a man to Athena to regain her favor. Lots were drawn. My name was chosen, but I was too clever for them. In the turmoil while they packed their ships for departure, I slipped off into the swamp."
"Very convenient for them to have left you behind," I said, raising an eyebrow.
"I'd trust him about as far as I could throw him," my son Hector said.
That's when Cassandra emerged from the fortress, trailing her skirts in the dust. As always, she was a dark-eyed beauty who could sway any man's judgment.
"No, good King Priam!" Cassandra pleaded falling to her knees. "Listen to this man! Well you know I am a soothsayer who can read signs. Everything augurs for the truth in this man's words. You must not be swayed by that elderly fool Laocoon whose time for effective divination is over. Give heed to the words of Sinon."
Laocoon tugged at my sleeve. "King, do not be swayed by the facile lies of a beautiful woman. Listen to me for the good of Troy, its soldiers, women, and children. This horse bodes no good!"
Cassandra turned her back on Laocoon with a shiver of her shoulders as I stood in indecision.
Then a strange thing happened. Rising from the dark sea, a hundred yards from shore, a huge apparition filled the morning. At first it appeared to be a wave of some sort, but as it raced closer to the beach, it was evident it was a gigantic serpent with a half-dozen fouls heads upon a series of undulating necks.
"Good God!" I said, staring at the rapidly-charging creature which seemed not to swim, but rather to ride upon the waves.
"I will confront this dragon!" said Hector, bold as always, drawing his sword and striding towards the beach.
"No," I said, seizing his sleeve, for he was a son, unlike his useless brother Paris, dear to me and a warrior we could ill afford to lose. "Wait, Hector, perhaps this is a sign from the gods regarding the truth of this matter. Stand fast and see what portends."
"Now the truth will out," murmured Laocoon, staring daggers at Cassandra as the rude beast came ashore, lumbering rapidly on powerful legs with clawed feet.
"Ha!" cried Cassandra, "if I were you Laocoon, I would run for my life; for this beast means to settle the issue of where the truth really lies."
Those words had barely crossed the lips of the prophetess when the sea creature made straight for the horse. As we stood breathlessly watching with drawn swords, the creature uncoiled to maximum length. With a convulsive whip of its fearsome tail, which soon encircled the belly of the horse, the sea creature lifted the Greek offering high into the air.
There was a fierce rattle of armor. Then the horse was dashed to the plain in an explosion of wood that smashed the horse to smithereens.
Leaping from within the wreckage of the steed, dozens of Greek soldiers clambered forth waving their swords. However, in their dazed condition, they were no match for my men. The battle raged for less than a half-hour. By that time the perfidious Greeks all lay dead, including our nemesis Odysseus, their bloody corpses scattered on the windy plains of Troy.
Afterwards we dragged treacherous Sinon back with us to the fortress where the order was given to remove his head. His fat torso was hung from the front gates of Troy as a warning to all those who might try to further their fortunes by deception.
Then that evening a glorious banquet was given in honor of wise Laocoon while Cassandra was made to parade naked before our army to emphasize her false prophecy and shame. Afterwards, in a decision by myself and my council of elders, my son Paris and his stolen wife Helen were banished from our city and told to wander where they may. Some say they have taken refuge among the decadent Egyptians; be that as it may, I care not. Let refuse sink its own barrow.
Since that fateful, victorious day we have lived twenty years here at Troy, conquering the Persians, the Sumerians, and an upstart Arab tribe to the south. Some day, as our true prophet Laocoon has instructed us, a courageous nation called Turkey will rise from the ruins of our city, but until that time let us prosper and be the anvil upon which our foolish foes must die.
end
