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PiscesQueen
Avah Love
United States, ohio, Toledo

Words: 64
Access: Public
Comments: 3

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Lyrical Garbage

Words served with a twist

Reserve one purpose; to hit,

not miss

So, pitch your ball

BUT

I'll stand tall

For the words you twist

Really,

Mean nothing at all

Lost in the knots you twisted so tight

You're scared now;

Face showed fright

For the words you twist

Really,

Mean nothing at all

Even that fastball

Couldn't make me fall

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Comments  
RoadPoet Comment by: RoadPoet - 2006-08-28 09:23
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The baseball analogy works powerfully in this and I was sadly imagining a baseball hitting my nether regions at 110 miles per hour! A poem with a brisk meter, which builds up apprehension and effect. Like the use of abbreviated lines that allows a rapid, yet smooth read.
jjsmith Comment by: jjsmith - 2006-08-27 22:17
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spoken like a true pisces, the fastball cant even find you
lsjones Comment by: lsjones - 2006-08-27 20:34
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I love baseball, and baseball metaphors, and strong poetry, and yours encompasses them all. It's better when read aloud, it has more of an impact. I absolutely love the last three lines. Great job.
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By PiscesQueen

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