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Ken
Ken Thongudomporn
Singapore

Words: 170
Access: Public
Comments: 12

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To she whom I gave flowers to;

To she whom I was a friend for, whom I was always there for;

To she whom I wrote sweet letters for, each five pages long,

To she whom I embraced, whom I kissed, I dreamed of;

To she for whose sake I knew, I had to be strong.

To she whom I called Darling, Lover, Dear,

To she whom I wrote poems for, sang songs for, painted for;

To she whom I had a picnic with, under a beautiful full moon.

To she whom I bought a ring for, whom I proposed to,

To she whom I wanted to see beside me, each sunrise - new;

To she whom I cherished, with all my heart...

Till the day I ripped you apart -

To she whom I choked the life from,

To she whom I tore limb from limb,

To she whom I stabbed till you were never recognizable again,

To she whom I buried, under a beautiful full moon;




You never really loved me - anyway...

Did you?

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Comments  
sadon Comment by: sadon - 2007-11-10 23:12
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u'd propose to a doughnut? hmm. well whatever it is based on,It freaked me out,it start of all peachy and great untill he tears her apart. It could also be a chicken drumstick! lolz..haha. but i liked it alot as well,it creeps me out and yet makes me laugh and smile. Gud going. the poem that showers u with the emotions! *
Comment by: - 2006-10-13 16:34
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I love the way you have started this with such romance and end with such violence and obsession. I laughed very hard when I read your comment about 'she' being a donut.

The repetition of 'To she whom' adds a bit of madness to your poem. Thank you for this read.

Enrique
rosysophia Comment by: rosysophia - 2006-09-25 18:06
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I love how you took something beautiful and twisted it up. Granted, it's sick and disturbing but... HEY.

Have you ever heard of Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds? It's a GREAT band. This poem reminds me of them. Nick Cave is a very disturbing fellow, the lead singer. I suggest that you look for the CDs: "Henry's Dream" and "The Murder Ballads." You won't regret it.

I think you used "to she whom" way too many times. I think if you took that away in many of the lines, it would be better. I started cutting it out as I read and it sounded much better. Nice work, though. Loved it.
Ken Comment by: Ken - 2006-09-18 07:57
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What if I told you, 'She' was a donut?
Min Comment by: Min - 2006-09-16 23:52
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I liked the build up with the repetition. It made the insanity believable, even though we don't know what 'she' did.
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