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mothernature
umm kadeeja
United Kingdom, manchester

Words: 127
Access: Public
Comments: 4

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GROWING UP DOES THIS

MY HAIR IS SO OUT OF PLACE, MIXED AND CONFUSED LOOKING.
MY FACE SO BLAND AND BORED,
MY EYES ONLY OPEN BECAUSE I HAVE TO CARRY ON.
MY MOUTH CLOSED, MY HEAD JUST ROAMING THE SKY AND THE GROUND.
WITH MY HANDS IN MY POCKETS, MY LEGS EXHAUSTED AND SLOWLY WALKING.
MY STEP HAS NO BOUNCE, I HAVE NO PLACE TO BE.
NO WHERE TO GO, NO RUSH.
JUST MUNDANE, BORING USUAL ROUTINES.
WALKING ON THE INSIDE OF THE PAVEMENT, JUST STEPPING ANYWHERE,
AND STOPPING WHEN A GLINT OF INTEREST COMES MY WAY.
WATCHING OTHER PEOPLE,
A FEW OF THEM LIKE ME,
BUT OTHERS LAUGHING, SMILING, ANGRY AND SHOUTING
AT LEAST THEY ARE SHOWING SOME EMOTION,
NOT LIKE ME,
GIVEN UP AND TRANCED IN MY LONLIE WORLD

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Comments  
Comment by: - 2006-10-08 20:21
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It's an OK poem. You spelled "lonely" wrong though. Use a spell checker.
mothernature Comment by: mothernature - 2006-10-07 05:29
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from mother nature the capitals i used for spur of the minute quickness,and im sorry about the spelling.i never did pass my english o'grade.sorry again
isismarie Comment by: isismarie - 2006-10-07 05:22
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While I agree that the capitals are distracting, I don't agree that there is a lack of description. You put the feel of growing up in an (exhausting) light, thus the capitals I think for added affect? All in all, I find it to be a good show of how we all feel when we grow up and have nothing but routine to really look for.
rosysophia Comment by: rosysophia - 2006-09-12 19:31
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Firstly, the capital letters are very distracting. Secondly, you spelled "lonely" wrong in the last line.

I would like to see more description in this. For instance, "bland and bored" isn't a very interesting description. More imagery would be nice. :-)
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By mothernature

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