cant live with you ,cant live without you
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Poetry >> cant live with you ,cant live without you
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cant live with you ,cant live without you
,I THINK OF NOTHING ELSE BUT YOU,
YOU ARE CONSTANTLY ON MY MIND.
MY EVERY MOVE, WHEREVER I GO,
YOU ARE WITH ME.
YOU WOULD THINK I LOVED YOU,
BUT I DESPISE YOU.
YOU MAKE A SUNNY DAY BLACK,
YOU MAKE A HAPPY ME SAD.
THE THOUGHT OF YOU MAKES ME FEEL DEPRESSED.
YOU MAKE ME HATE MY BODY. MY BODY WHICH IS A GIFT FROM GOD,
I HATE BECAUSE OF YOU.
I REGRET THE FACT THAT WITHOUT YOU I COULDT LIVE.
BUT WITH YOU IN ME AND THE WAY YOU MAKE ME FEEL,
I DON'T WANT TO LIVE'¦'¦..
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| Strong emotions, but I am missing a certain touch. |
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| I feel that to try and convey the power of emotion expressed here , capitals are used to shout the intensity of anguish felt. The poem is hard to read because the feelings it displays are so raw and heartfelt. I hope that to write them allows some relief. Such despair and anguish make me feel impotent. |
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Comment by: Jamilah - 2006-09-13 22:06
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You have some very strong emotions here. The title theme of love/hate is carried out well.
I do have some suggestions. First, don't write it in all caps. If you want, you could capitalize certain key words. Also, I think you need to write more. Who is this person? An old flame? Someone who has caught your eye? An ex-husband?
There's a story here. Please expand the poem so we can hear it. |
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