He didn't know exactly when it happened; it just happened. But when he finally realized it, it hit him like a cold wave of water. He had fallen in love.

He wasn't you romantic type of guy, not that there are many. In fact, a couple of times he even voiced his opinion against marriage, monogamy and all that it implied. But now he found himself wishing he was waking up next to her in the mornings; a silver band on his wedding finger and a pregnant belly on her silhouette. He imaged her soft red curls spread across her pillow as she rested after a night of love.

It was now more than ever, that he started noticing things about her, things that he didn't know he knew. The way she bit her lips whenever she was nervous, or the way she played with her hair whenever she sensed something bad was about to happen. These where things that nobody knew about her, especially her husband.

She was married, she had been for three years.

He'd met the guy once before, and at first glance he looked like an ok guy but he couldn't help but wish him the worst; that she would leave him.

Her name rhymed with Bella. The softness of her fair skin made perfect contrast with her fiery-locks. Her green eyes, two emeralds hidden under long, dark eyelashes. The curve of her mouth framed a priceless smile. She was fair and she was good.

They'd work together for over a year, and to his best knowledge they had become good friends, the kind of friends that you share your lunch time with but never called each other outside of work. The kind of friends you talk about movies but never about personal problems.

From what he could gather, she was happily married. Not once had he seen her wedding finger without her wedding ring, a clear sign of an unhappy marriage. Not once had he seen her skip her daily call to her husband on her break. She was happily married to her husband, and he was madly in love with her.

Oh, how much he loved her! Just the thought of running his fingers through her hair and caressing the small of her back was enough to drive him crazy. He would find himself daydreaming about her as he watched her from across the room in the office. The fluorescent light of the space never diminished her beauty in fact it seemed to accentuated more. She was so lovely, she was so beautiful, she was unattainable.

He contemplated the idea of telling her about his feelings but quickly dismissed it when he realized the box of Pandora he cold open with his confession. He could push her away.

'I shouldn't tell her'�

But he dreamed of the day he could tell her. It was a truth that wanted to come out, a truth that burned through his skin every time she was near, every time she would kindly smile in his direction.

He tried falling out of love by participating in the dreaded dating scene, but every night he went back to his apartment after dropping yet another date in her house, he realized how wonderful she was, and that there was no one like her. He was doomed.

He was angry at himself, at the circumstances. How could he let it happen? Why was he having those feelings? There was no logical explanation. It just happened.

He finally decided to not fight his feelings and wait. If those feelings were there for a reason it's because they were meant to be. He decided to wait, to wait for love, to wait for her.

The pages of the calendar began to fall one by one. Minutes turned to hours and hours turned to days. Weeks turned to months and months to years. His hair turned gray and his face wrinkled but he never stopped loving her. Each day his love grew stronger, like a tree deeply rooted in his heart.

As the years went by, he watched her become a beautiful, mature woman. He witnessed as she became a mother and later on a grandmother. He would recall with joy how lovely she looked in both her pregnancies, she was glowingly beautiful. She was a beautiful human being, a wonderful mother, a lovely woman.

And then one day, she was gone.

The sky turned gray the moment after he heard about her departure from this world and it rained for a week straight. His heart ached and he lamented the loss of her presence in the world, in his life. A sadness he had never felt overcame him.

But the rain stopped, on a Monday afternoon when he received a package.

The package came from an attorney's office downtown. Enclosed, a letter explaining that according to her testament, this package was to be given to him if anything ever happened to her. Inside the box where hundreds of unopened letters, each one addressed to him. He stopped counting at 289. As far as he could tell, the first one had been written 30 years ago, around the time he fell in love with her. He recognized her handwriting after years of reading the post it notes she left when she proof read his reports. But these words had a much deeper effect in him. These were the words he had been waiting for.


'My dear friend:

'..Something strange is happening in me, to me. I can't explain'�'�

''�Wish I could tell you what I am feeling'�'�

''�I see you looking at me from your desk and I can't help but wish that you were looking at me with loving eyes'�'�

'..I am ashamed of my feelings. I am married'�'�

''�Why can't you love me like I do'�'�

''�I wish it were your child I was carrying'�'�

''�I love you so much'�'�

''�Maybe someday, I'll wait for you my darling'�'�



He should've told her.

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