 |
 |
 |
| |
They lead us here...
on massive steps, descending
old steps of stone
worn smooth on the surface as
they crumble round the edges
ashy white layers, limestone dust
occasional winds sift the
memory of purpose to an ever deeper strata
time swept away the grooves
from sandaled feet and the
slow drag of a thick white toga
drops of oil from olive skin
a delicate sheen in the Mediterranean heat
all evidence worn bare
the memory has drifted into mythology
voices rise up from the masked faces
pantomimes of human drama
the ever-true depth of our emotion
and their pain, the grief and tragedy
agony of struggle, simple joy of existence
purity spills from their laughter
it washes over the steps
a flood of humanity
and the steps ascend
into the tidal wave of history
Want to comment on this Poetry?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Poetry and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
|
 |
|
[Back to top]
|
|
|
|
| Your 2nd stanza, executed brilliantly, word choices flowed well. I like the descriptive call you made throughout this piece. Excellent stuff Manda! |
 |
Comment by: - 2006-09-08 21:27
|
|
I am going to disagree and say I like this repeat of steps. It gives a sense of importance to the description and a classic feel to this poem. While reading your poem I felt as if I was there watching this happen. It is extremely vivid and beautiful.
Enrique |
|
|
A very visual piece that delves into life that has been laid to ground for so many years. Reading through I had images of the Parthenon of Athena and of locals conversing just outside the temple. The interweaving of human drama and Mediterranean culture brings Shakespeare to mind. I love the wording of this piece, but im not too about the first few lines (following the crowd lol).
Old steps of stone
winding down,
worn smooth on the surface as
they crumble round the edges
ashy white layers, limestone dust
occasional winds sift the
memory of purpose to an ever deeper strata
Just my suggestion lol. |
|
|
| Mmmm, what a lovely picture you painted, although I think I agree about the whole "steps" issue. But the imagery is just utterly fantastic on this! Interesting juxtaposition of static stone and everchanging emotion. |
 |
Comment by: Teri - 2006-09-02 05:40
|
|
| I'd agree with Logan about the repetition of "steps" in the first and the last stanza, although as he said, it may be a personal thing. I found it a little jarring. I love the images here because it's a period of time and writing I adore, and the pictures you draw with words are delicate and perfect. The oil and sheen lines are absolutely gorgeous! Nice work as usual, Manda. :) T. xo |
| 1 2 Next |
|
 |
|
 |
|
|
