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emmajones
Emma Jones
United Kingdom, Liverpool

Words: 207
Access: Public
Comments: 4

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Butterflies

We used to walk to the swimming baths
two by two
hand in hand
and woe betide you if you had no ones hand to hold
sets of eyes would stare at you and tease
and, that was only the beginning
of going to the baths with school.

As we neared the hallowed hall
we would nervously enter
and whisper
with knocking knees and butterflies
voices echoed
laughter bounced from the walls
splashing heard
all seemed to be from another world.

The tiles glistened
reflecting the unseen water
that rippled everywhere '
and, as you waited
other kids from other schools
would pull funny faces
and we would look at them and laugh
but the butterflies in my stomach
refused to relax.

Then came -
the pulling off of dirty socks
the snagging of the jumper
bumping and pushing
as you tried the unholy act
of getting changed in a tiny box.
With towels wrapped round your growing shame
on would come my cossie
my sisters hand me down
that was multi coloured and frayed.


Then I would emerge
the pool would glint
calm
reflective
the still sheet laying out before me
and I would jump
ripping its clear surface
apart
no more beating wings of butterflies.

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Comments  
zepol Comment by: zepol - 2007-06-06 04:43
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I agree with your other readers. This is a very discriptive piece and the ending is excellent.
Comment by: - 2007-04-12 01:52
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ok, this totally changed about half way through. at first, focusing on the internal feelings, turgid with metaphores. And then it changes, focusing more on the external world, alive with details. It's the best of both worlds, really.
little typo, line four { no one's hand }
jkaber Comment by: jkaber - 2006-09-02 16:24
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Loved the ending on this one!
suleem Comment by: suleem - 2006-09-02 13:30
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your so descriptive, I throughly ejoyed the walk to the pool with you.
1

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By emmajones

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