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Dear Diary
Dear diary
How long has it been
since we last met?
Forgive my trembling hand
smearing your face
But nobody else listens to me
Dear diary
My heart is pure
My love is deep
My life is his only
But the world condemns us
They said we can not be together
because our faith is not the same
and our love is to blame
Dear diary
His heart is tender
His love is none other
His life is mine only
But the world forsakes us
How could a love so beautiful be so wrong?
How could a heart so warm be so sinful?
How could a life so perfect be so doomed?
Forgive my tears
destroying your page
But nobody else cares for us
Dear diary
Our hearts are strong
Our love is endless
Our lives are each other's
Hope the world would leave us be
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Comment by: Cherley - 2007-07-18 19:43
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| This is nice. I enjoyed it and hope that true love came from it and that he replaced the love of the diary with his love. |
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Comment by: Aria - 2007-07-18 17:07
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| i like how you describe what happens to your diary when you write in it. also, you bring up a very difficult issue. good poem overall. |
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| I was thrown off by the title too. But I DID like it. The poem is structured well and the rhythm is strong and consistent. Good job. |
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Comment by: zepol - 2007-05-29 04:02
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| Nowadays the question of faith or difference in faith comes into play more often than not. You have struck a cord that resonates within the corridors of love. I like what you have done but opinions mean little in this forum. Structure, content, language, message etc. are what is important, you have certainly created a fine piece, and that is not an opinion or a nicety. |
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| Love the forbidden love theme, I can sort of relate (different moral issues and more one sided). I love your style, simplicity of words which speak powerful messages. As with my own best work (me thinks) simple and heartfelt. I do however, see tweaking possibilities, such as, I like the way you tell your diary its the only one who will listen and the only one who cares, and would liked to have seen more mention of that dynamic like you did with the world condemns, forsakes and would they let y'all be lines. Anyway, thanks for sharing it. |
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