writing community
Sign In Here | Lost Password | FREE Sign Up
E-mail: Password:
Remember login  
The place for writers:
Upload your writing in minutes, receive peer feedback from other writers, poets, authors, then get your work published out there in the real world.       Learn how other writers are doing it.

 
ShatteredDreamer
Tash .
United Kingdom

Words: 244
Access: Public
Comments: 3

Forward to a friend
Print Version
E-mail this writer E-mail this user 
View Author profile
Add to Readers  




Sweet Memory (in a Grain of Sand)

(I saw the world)
(You saw the world)
(Smiled 'cause we knew)
(Million lights in a grain of sand)
(But perfume of sandy shore)
(Faded away too soon)

Back then I saw the world in a grain of sand,
Shangri-la and a veiled summer moon,
(held)in a grain of sand
(yeah, but it left too soon)

We were always together
(in sweet memory)
By the sand the sea and the blue blue sky
Wet feet danced in childish liberty

Remember the day?
(When we found the world in a grain of sand?)
Sweet memory in a grain of sand
(We ran home, with it clasped tight in my hand)

Our faces were so bright with smiles
"Mum! Mum look what we found!
We found the world, the beeeeeautiful world
(held) deep under ground!"

We sang in wobbly chorus
(of the sweet, proud world we'd found)
Singing by the blue blue sea,
Singin for that grain of sand, guarded by the ground

We spent every day by the blue blue sea,
(under a freshly painted summer sky)
Staring at that grain of sand,
(as days faded by)

Lying in the sea,
Our hearts swelled with that magic,
(yeah, there was magic in those days)
Felt like everything was set free

Remember the day?
When we lost it (lost perfect harmony)
We lost a million childish things in that grain of sand,
(Cried so hard)...'cause we lost such a sweet memory ...

Want to comment on this Poetry?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Poetry and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
Sign up






[Back to top]
Comments  
nonalienabductee Comment by: nonalienabductee - 2006-09-07 08:08
Add to Readers
      
No, leave the parantheses! I like them. It felt a little e.e. cummings, to me, which is never a bad thing! And it really gave a picture of the enclosed in a grain of sand idea. Very sweet.
diyanimal Comment by: diyanimal - 2006-09-06 05:54
Add to Readers
      
Actually, I enjoyed the brackets. The visual that I got from reading it the way it was presented that it was a memory that was being remembered by two people - perhaps they were old now, brother and sister, friends? who knows. But I thought it made it much more feeling, and sad too. I like the brackets. Good job!
ShatteredDreamer Comment by: ShatteredDreamer - 2006-09-06 00:39
Add to Readers
      
Note to Readers:
I know it seems like I used the brackets excessively. What is written with brackets would have ideally been in italics, but I didn't think my editing through properly. Will edit this sometime soon!
Sorry for the lack of organisation!
1

Sponsored Ads


By ShatteredDreamer

Featured Writers

Advertising - Terms & Conditions - Short Story Submissions - Contact - Writing Competitions - Writing Links - Book Promotion - Sky-Tribe.com - alanemmins.com
  Member short stories, poems, comments and other contributions are owned by the poster.
Copyright 2003 - 2007 Edit Red I/S