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Into the silence
Silence really has a sound
So it is not the way we think it
Behind it is the sound you can't hold
What makes you the I am
A sound and word without origin
Having its center lying inside the word
I call this silence
Silence has a message
For I walk and all of a sudden
I hear the sound
This sound I need to give attention
This sound I can't really understand
But I know the is a message behind it
I stop breathing only to realize I exist
And then my being filled and brims with this sound alone
It becomes so strong that this is the only thing I hear even deep into
The noise around me
The only one thing I hear
Now I hear this sound and even my own
Footsteps are very far from me
Where have I found myself?
All I know, I have gone very far
A place of origin
Into the silence.
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| Once again, I think you should double-check the poem for grammatical errors because those could distract from the poem's message. This one used the word "sound" a lot, and I am not too sure I was a fan of it being used repetitively. With that said, I liked the message of the poem very much. I think tightening it up a bit will deliver that message even better! |
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| Great job...Silence, wooh can learn so much from just from being still...you wrote this very well. It's hard to put your finger on silence and yet this is the place where solutions are born...anyway, just wanted to let you know I think you did a great job with this piece....your last stanza was superb. |
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| Wow! ur writing is amazing. i love how it's very mysterious and the imagery you created. Nice work! |
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Comment by: tcbswan - 2006-10-04 17:12
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very thoughtful and insightful piece--lines that spoke to me:
"I stop breathing only to realize I exist
And then my being filled and brims with this sound alone
It becomes so strong that this is the only thing I hear even deep into
The noise around me"
we live in a very noisy world; the noise of life, of rushing, of obtaining, of being and becoming can be so loud that it drowns out everything that is meaningful, real, and that can only be heard in the silence...so much is going on if we'd just be willing to listen, to be quiet, and willing to hear the silence.
very thought provoking piece--enjoyed it, thanks for posting... |
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Comment by: mitra - 2006-09-14 06:22
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| I like the way this piece has an introduction and so many insightful thoughts. Somehow have the idea of someone passing on into nothingness. Your words also makes the reader stop for a while and think about what you have really said here. |
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