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MOON DANCER
MOON DANCER
A prose poem by
ROBERT DAVIDSON
Tonight I walk the beach to the stone jetty where my boat is moored. Moonlight caressing waves causes a quivering pulsation of light over water.
Looking out over the curve of the bay I see the moth-like figure of a girl dancing on the shore. She pirouettes, advancing retreating, as moonlit waves wash shimmering sand. A slight wind from the sea blows through her hair moulding her dress to her body. Her movements captivate.
She comes up to me and all woman she is. Her breasts rise and fall as she speaks and we soon become as one - pressed together in the dance, my love-kiss finding her mouth. The white moon at full inspires emotion and for a night she becomes my passion as smooth the bare flesh I feel her body surrender. She cries as sensuality washes over her in multiple waves. Her breath warm in my ear.
This is where I belong, spoke my heart. But many are the moods of the moon, the wind having risen with the turn of the tide. And as a moonbeam glides across a wave, she slips from me saying, I never said forever.
My heart sinks like a stone flung into a deep pool. She drifts away from me, a withered leaf on the edge of a storm. My passion shipwrecked, my voice - a drowning sailor's call.
Copyright 2006 http://www.robertdavidson.blogsource.com
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wow the way you write this is brilliant, you have a way with words and how to paint a picture in peoples minds, you have done this perfectly and smoothly
this is going on my book shelf |
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Hi Robert (Welcome to SpoiledInk)
This was a great prose poem and the imagery is exceptional. I did have the same problem AJ had with the sentence, "The white moon..." It just didn't work for me either. Other than that, I love how you brought the reader through all of the emotions of hope, exhiliration and then disappointment. It was strong in only a few words. Good job. Yvylyn |
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Comment by: AJSmith - 2006-09-15 06:08
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Hi Robert
I thought this was a very strong prose poem, full of good, creative images which were also very vivid at the same time. Some of your word play, like moth-like, was really imaginative. I like that she speaks but you dont say what - you're perhaps too entranced to listen to her. There were a couple of things that i stumbled on - 'The white moon at full inspires emotion and for a night she becomes my passion as smooth the bare flesh I feel her body surrender' - the end of this sentence doesn't work. the ending (heart sinking like a stone) is cliched, and actually, isn't needed. the previous stanza ends strongly, and would be a stronger ending then the sailor's call. the 'withered leaf on the edge of a storm', while a nice enough image, has nothing to do with a pale moonlit night of naked dancing and so is superfluous, so there is certainly cause for deleting this final stanza if you feel like you could do it.
anyway, overall, enjoyable and different. |
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