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Even virtues need not exist
This is the stage of light wielding
You do not need to be virtuous
You just need to exist
Just be there
Forget about the world and all of its inhabitants
This is alienation of spirit
Virtues exist and then
You hide yourselves in them
And then you become slow to progress
Your life is an illusion
Because you do not see in virtues
Cast them aside and it is a growing stage
A stage where all would be evoked
To make you complete
At the heart of this perfection
You see beyond nothingness
You live within your being
Where you belong
You do not need virtues to do this
I call it, a strike of the sword
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Ahh. I see it all so clearly now. You are suposed to be far superior to us and if we don't 'feel' the same way we somehow don't understand because we are not on your 'level'. mmmm. Just as long as I get the basic premise. Your comment was enlightening.
Why is it that people would want me to 'free my mind' to discuss spiritual matters when the single greatest gift that G_d gives us to understand Him is reason?
This poem is a well written set of ideals that are essentially flawed. The basis of your ideas here are that intro spection and meditation on self will bring enlightenment and all is centered around yourself. I hope that this gives you some help but it is fundamentally in conflict with priciples of righteousness.
Yes, titus 3:5 'for it is not by works of righteousness he has saved us...'
but 'faith without works is dead.'
it is this balance that we are called to maintain. I don't really belive that we are at anytime called to turn our backs on our community or the whole world to go in search of self help. We are called to be servants not the served. It would seem that you think that G_d somehow exists to give you joy or fulfilment. That is backward.
We are to thirst after righteousness. Yeshua (Jesus) said that if you love me you will obey my commandments.
We need not cast away virtues because we never had them.
"your life is an illusion" is a hacknead concept. From Descartes to 'The Matrix'
light wielding? strike of the sword? what are you some sort of 'Jedi Jesus'
oh and nice picture of Zeus. |
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Are you a Hobsian? This poem sounds like a description of a person who returns to Hobbes "State of Nature". Where there is no virtues because there is no law to centralize power. But if you do away with virtue and return to the "state of nature" than new virtues are created. "Force and Fraud are the cardinal virtues..."
Moreover, I disagree that practising virtues slows a person's progress. I can see virtues slowing a person's progess into despair. how does one hide inside virtue?
At the end the poem states that a person belongs inside his own being? What is being to you? it is not the being talked about by philosophers from the beginning. It would be impossible to live inside of being itself. perfect being isn't composite.
I apologize if this sounds like an attack. But I think there is confusion and contradiction in the ideas here. Especially since you talk so highly of virtues in your other poems, such as the "pool of purification" poem. in that one you talk of virtues being the guiding factors to reaching the pool of purification and they in no way disable you. |
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| This poem sort of lost me. It seemed too preachy for my tastes. However, you do have a good handle on using metaphor ("Your life is an illusion") and imagery ("a strike of the sword"). I would recommend reading your poetry aloud and deciding what words you keep repeating throughout and whether or not you can replace them with a similar word or whether or not they fit the poem's message. Also, reading aloud helps you to clearly define where line breaks should be. This does not seem to be a problem for you, however there were some lines where there might have been more or less impact (depending on the direction you choose) had they been broken differently. But, as in all poetry, line breaks are all up to the poet and their own personal tastes. |
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Comment by: Nana - 2006-11-29 18:36
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In our society, virtues are way overrated. (Truth is, we dont know what makes something virtuous or not) Sometimes all it takes is deep simplicity to understand the true meaning of life and live humbly.
Thanks for sharing that. |
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Comment by: tweety - 2006-11-02 08:32
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I Understand fully what your saying, and sometimes when you look and read with different eyes, you can tell that we do and are nothing by ourselves.
Great read thanks for sharing. |
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