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In the End
It's there when I wake up: silent and improbable and oddly sinister, hanging a few inches below the ceiling.
Greyish early daylight desaturates the colours of the room, smudging everything into charcoal vagueness. But it's all there, familiar, normal.
Except for the white balloon, static in the air, a string trailing lifeless from it in a completely straight line, despite the open window. It wasn't here when I went to sleep, and it shouldn't be here now. The wrongness of its presence scares me. Its still muteness bothers me, and I can't not look at it.
There's a sense, something more forgotten than remembered, that tells me this is more than just a balloon.
It moves, but not the way a balloon should move. It jerks, lurches: abrupt, graceless movements. The string doesn't trail behind it, just hangs dead-still underneath.
And I somehow know: everything that couldn't be allowed to happen already has, and there's nothing I can do about it anymore. The worst has come to be. It's too late to stop it. It's too late for anything now.
[Sorry if you're reading this post for the second time. It got deleted for some reason when SI got invaded by gremlins, and I've only just re-uploaded it. Thanks to all who commented first time around.]
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i dont know what to say other than i liked it, it would seem odd to me if this comment was longer then your story, its wounderful how there is a deep mystery in this story, and that is revolves around a little white balloon.
in many ways this piece reminds me of a could, no definite shape and therefore posessing infinite and exact meaning to anyone who sees it, and i also find it interesting that this story and the balloon inside can like a tarot card tell you what you fear most. for example the comment below me says the balloon symbolizes death, and this is because you made it a moldable image of fear and he obviously fears death, me, i think it symbolizes memory loss, and i come to that conclusion more from the surroundings and context then the balloon itself, and i dont fear loss of mental function in some ways more than anything else, so i believe this story works as the magic 8 ball of fears.
congrats, thats an admirable effect you got going there |
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This little story was very intriguing, to say the least.
I enjoy reading and watching films that don't always lay everything out on a plate. Some frightening images, obviously the balloon being the most prominent. To me it represents death. That this fragile, yet unnatural object, may burst at anytime. But for now, the reader is happy just watching it, mesmerised.
I only had an issue with the contradictory terms of 'abrupt' and 'graceless'. I don't know how something can perform these actions at the same time. But, maybe it adds to the odd atmosphere, the odd character of the balloon.
Rich. |
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I love the lack of answers. The details are vivid and place us into the room with the balloon but you don't beat us over the head with the answer. You leave it to us to figure out and I dig that. Some of the scariest moments are the ones that have no explanation.
As for not knowing what the balloon represents/is, ripleym, it's not a matter of being male, I find myself asking the same question: should I know what the balloon is? |
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Comment by: lofty - 2006-11-01 10:20
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| just the way i like it.... |
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Comment by: - 2006-10-28 01:35
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| Balloons are terrifying. They have those anthropomorphic little heads, completely empty inside, and the chuckle and giggle at all of your little jokes as you walk along together in the zoo, staring at all the elephants trapped in their cages. But when you reach over into the grain dispenser to get the feed for the billy goat, they slip between your fingers and escape, wailing, shuddering and twitching spasmotically, into the interminable expanse of blue sky. |
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