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In high places
There is no law
But there is order
Everything is sane
So the body is in the order of the soul
You now feel the very essence of your flexibility
You can twist, turn and pull
The body is a string like the soul
There is a light here
Can you see it?
The body is in order
You feel something chilled
Move through your sinews
Your core is out
The phlegm in you is sipped out
And then you are eternal
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From a purely poetic and non-religious standpoint, this poem is really good. Lots of imagery and metaphor there. I love reading poems that incorporate those two aspects of writing. Keep up the good work!
Whether you believe or not this is powerfull piece of rhetoric. It reminds me of kiekergaard's 'sickness unto death'. I am not sure of the last verse however, it seems that rather than write a code for life, which I feel is how it starts, you have written a code for death.
ahhhhh yes...awareness to clear the blockages of our earthly temple to open ourselves to purifaction of the body and hence the soul. nicely written! K~
