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MMutami
Maxwell Mutami
Zimbabwe, Harare

Words: 204
Access: Public
Comments: 3

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UNTIL THEN

Until you have stopped crying
Until you have faced facts in the face
Until you have asked your self why you are crying
Until you have revised your walking pace
Until you have stopped grumbling about hunger
Until you done something about present anger
Until you stop complaining about joblessness
Until you have stopped alleging lawlessness
Until you have realized why you are penniless
In a land where pennies don't buy a thing
In a land where law wears different colours
In a land where idleness has become a tradition
In a land where a hungry man should never be angry
In a land where speed limits apply to pedestrians
In a land where real facts have had a redefinition
In a land where crying is the way of talking
Then you will be heading somewhere
Then you will never cry
Then you will move with times
Then you will know where the food lies
Then you will know anger doesn't wield a sword
Then you will create your own job
Then real law will shape each new day
Then your little pennies will buy you goodies
Then facts will bear their real name
Only then will you and I be happy.

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Comments  
satanic Comment by: satanic - 2007-01-14 02:14
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Very moving, great work.
AJSmith Comment by: AJSmith - 2006-09-19 08:01
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hi

enjoyed this. you did well not too stray into cliche.

'Until you done something about present anger' needs to be amended, and i wasn't sure about the rhyming in this section - it seems out of place because it isn't continued throughout but is sporadic. i think maybe you should stick to a rhyming structure or not have any with a poem like this. anyway, memorable.
LadyEgyptia Comment by: LadyEgyptia - 2006-09-19 07:51
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Wow, this is awesome stuff. You get it!
1

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