I used to think my mother would leave me
I called, 'Wait!'� in every store
certain that she would bustle along the mock marble
past the shelves of books and into the world
without me.

Similar is my view of you, here and then gone
as though you arrived to taunt me and then left
to amuse yourself; you were a speck in the wind
and I the lips that you were caught in.

Our revelry was short-lived, my memory distant
spread across the couch, blanket askew
holding each other as though we'd known it for years;
that we were lonely, that we were
ready for me plus you.

I am conflicted, lost in pains of the mind and body
remembering the man that comes here, four times a week
all smiles to see me, brown hair curling gently
at his shoulders; I remember him and I tremble
for I'm just not certain anymore'

I glance behind me all the time, thinking I have a spy
someone's watching me, a goblin lurks in the shadows
a whisper in the night and I, the mouth that catches those words
swallows them whole, terrified that I will lose my mind
and you, with it.

I wanted to kiss you goodbye, hold you closer
I wanted to tell you, 'I'll miss you,'� but I never did
taking life in a careless sort of way and saying,
'I'll see you again tonight,'� with utmost courage,
but then you left and here I am, trying to remember.

I know it sounds strange, but I am asking myself
if it was all just a dream, if your arms around me
was an elaborate fantasy, the words you spoke, caught in my ears
just an expression of how much I want you and how much
I hope you want me.

Ten months, ten months of waiting, counting down
trying to keep the truth away from you, that I want you
lust for you more than I've ever'
for anyone else. The man comes to my door again
long hair pulled back, beard unshaven; I tremble
in the realization'

Not sure that I want him anymore
and I remember where you are now, fighting for your life
I pray for you to come back to me, so that I can decide
what to do with myself, what to catch in these lips
will it be you'
or the desert?

Want to comment on this Poetry? Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Poetry and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...